Bitter Sweet Symphony

Picture is worth thousand words

2006-08-09T11:05:00.000+05:30

Moved to Wordpress ..

New Blog

The Conversation with a Stranger

2006-08-03T10:54:00.000+05:30

I had just been tucked in, late at night .. around 11:00 PM.
Phone started ringing. Under normal circumstances, I would have frowned at the idea of someone calling me at such late hours, but this ... this was a number I had never seen before. And this is the cue for every desperate , single , love monkey type guy to call back. Me, being one, called back ( though .. I must admit .. at the back of my mind was the fact that one of my school friends was due in hyderabad yesterday and it might be him ).

Me : Hello
She (yeah yeah yeah yeah .. SHE ) : Hellllloooo
Me : Yes
She ( yeah yeah yeah yeah .. SHE ) : YEEEESSSSSS
Me : did you just call me ??
She ( yeah yeah yeah yeah .. SHE ) : Did YOU just call me ??
ME : I got a call from this number , did you call me ?
She ( yeah yeah .. getting on my nerves .. but still .. SHE ) : I GOT a call from this number .. did YOU call me ??
Me : Are you just repeating what I am saying ?
She ( ahh .. come on lady .. ) : Are YOU just repeating what I am SAYING ??
ME : Ok, Seems like a wrong number. Sorry .
She ( finally broke her ressiliance ) : hey hey .. Sorry about that . I was just trying out random numbers and I got your number.
Me ( Very very disbelieving ) : ok , no problem. ( and then after a little pause during which I was trying to remember where have I heard this voice before). Do I know you ??
She : I don't think so. We have never met. I told you , it was a random number.
Me : Ok . ( still very disbelieving ). Bye then.
She ( around this time, her voice was getting on my nerves. she had terrible hindi which she used to fill up the pauses and she sounded like she was drunk ) : Hey wait, now that we have talked .. do you want to be friends ?
ME ( yayy yayy yayy .. ) : FRIENDS ?? Are you joking. How can you just call up random numbers and expect them to become friends with you. I don't even know you.
SHE : that's not a problem. Probably after this conversation, we will know each other.
Me ( Gosh .. she is really desperate .. but what the hell .. so am I ) : Well, I don't think it works that way. You need to meet people to know them and then you become friends with them.
She : Ok .. let's meet.
ME ( YAYY YAYY YAYY !! ** subsequently you may assume that yayy yayy yayy part unless mentioned otherwise ** ) : WHAT ?? ok , who are you ?? Venki are you trying out a girlish voice. no no .. it's Jayaram ... jaya .. stop joking .. Phone ka misuse mat kar .. no wait .. it could be Rocky .. but this does'nt sound like you .. ok .. WHO ARE YOU ??
She : First you tell me who are these people you just mentioned. Venki ? Jaya ? Rocky ?
ME : Well .. they are my good friends. experts at pranks and stuff like this. But why am I telling this to you .. for all I know, you could be one of these three.
She : Gosh, why are you so disbelieving. Can't you just believe that I called up a random number and got you.
Me : No, I can't. Randomness does'nt favour outliers like me.
She : WHAT?
Me : Nothing nothing . forget it.
She : Ok, What's your name.
ME: Utkarsh .. What's yours'.
She : Nice name ( I get that a lot .. thank you mom n dad ) . I am *******.
Me : Ok ..
She : So, what do you do ?
Me : I work.
she : where
ME : outside pizza hut at airport road. I am the gatekeeper there.
She : Yoy Stil don't trust me .. do you ?
Me : How can I ??
She : Well .. I told you my name .. what proof do you need.
Me ( with Joey's line in mind ) : I am Afraid I am going to need visual proof.
** and as soon as I said that .. ** Oh . nooooooooo .. SHIT
She : Yeah , thats fine. Let's meet.
Me : no .. please no.
She : Why ??
Me: See, I have a girlfriend. And I don't know what she will think of all this. So, let's not meet.
She : No problem, you don't need to tell her.
Me : ( he he he .. yeah .. not tell her .. I am going to tell the WHOLE World that I got a anon phone call from a a GIRL ) . no .. I can't lie to her.
She : Ok, if that's your decision. no problem.
Me: Yes ..
She : Ok, bye then .
Me : Ok .. bbye.

I might have yelled a "O My God" (a-la janice) at the end of this, which is what probably woke up my grandpa.

Platinum gym !!

2006-07-25T13:39:00.001+05:30

As I had touched upon the topic of gym-ing in my previous post .. I think it's about time, I tell you people, how far have I progressed towards the muscular utkarsh.
He is just round the corner, as I see it .. and Far far far far far far far off .. as my gym instructor would see it. If the pain in my arm is anything to go by ( I am told that this happens when muscles are formed due to exercises ), I am very well on my way .. screw mr. instructor.
So what If I could not do the 50 dips as he asked me to do it .. he thinks it becomes easier if he says do 5 sets of 10 each .. I would like to see the hulk of the gym try to do it .. (For all I know , he just might .. I have seen him lifting 25 kg dumbles with quite an ease .. and if that happens .. you will have one more chance of marvelling at the wonderous phenomenon of putting utkarsh's foot in his own over sized mouth ) .. Anyway .. I had just crossed the border into double digits, when something near my left shoulder snapped and begged me to stop .. for the love of God .. stop .. of course .. I can't ignore such hartfelt pleas .. I AM human .. after all ..
so .. I told my instructor that I have done ( some quick thinking and random number generation engine in my mind gave me .. ) 28 push ups .. and am a little tired .. he said that is moderate effort for a starter .. and he is happy that I tried .. Something in my mind was telling me .. manipulative bastard ..
Anyway . my next task was to lift some 5 kg dumbbells .. should'nt be too tough .. only 5 kgs .. right ?? My instructor told me to count till 10 and do 5 sets of that .. As I said .. that did'nt make the process any easier .. Anyway .. with two hulky dumbbell shaped individuals on my side and two similar non living ones in hand .. I started counting .. The exercise was to lift the dumbbells over your head with one hand and then bring it down .. and then repeat the process with the other hand. I started couting .. right arm going up .. left arm going up .. 1 .. right arm going up .. left arm going up .. 2 .. .. .. .. .. .. after a minute .. right arm going up .. 12 .. left arm going up .. 13 .. right arm going up .. 14 .. left arm going up .. 15 .. and some time later .. right arm going up .. 22 , 23 .. left arm going up .. 24 , 25 .. and yes .. I did complete 50.
Next task was bar lifting .. For most of my life I had seen people lifting these bars with some weights attached at the ends .. and the bar that was given to me had no weights .. that seemed such a slap in the face .. I mean .. what do I need to do to get some respect from this man .. I mean .. did'nt I just do 28 push ups and 50 dumbbell lifts .. does'nt that count for anything ?? But you can't argue with the instructor there .. he is , after all , your instructor .. you just do what he tells you .. however damm easy or tough it may seem to be .. So, I took the bar from him .. and the very next moment regretted telling him I was not so tired even after 28 dips and 50 dumble lifts. This bar .. well .. did'nt require any weights .. it was pretty heavy all by itself .. only an absolute hulk could lift this thing with weights attached .. and I have mentioned .. the hulk utkarsh is still round the corner and not at the platinum gym yet .. under the watchful eye of mr. instructor .. I staretd out yet again .. and paused twice before 10 to get a breather .. he said I had done pretty well for a first day .. WHAT ?? first day .. excuse me .. I am a fourth day pro .. ok ?? .. I CAN do better than this .. I shall prove you wrong .. mr. bulky biceps and 50 inch chest .. and I lifted the bar once more over my head .. and then down .. yeah .. I think I have done well for a first day .. and I restored the bar respectfully to it's original position.
As I got out of the gym, I saw my bike outside .. my faithful companion .. right there when I need it the most .. I got onto the bike .. thanked Mr. Rooper for the best invention of all times .. the bike .. I pledged to come back the next day and give a repeat performance.

Another one coming up !!

2006-07-21T20:22:00.000+05:30

The time on my system clock says 8:19 PM.
It's a Friday .. and I have undoubtably hit all time low in terms of spirits.
The approaching weekend is getting on my nerves. I have absolutely no plans for this weekend .. exactly like I had no plans for the weekend before this, and the one before that .. and one before that .. before that .. before that ..

If I had been in hyderabad, I would have things to do .. but somehow .. bangalore does not seem to be offering the same excitement that I had hoped for. Weekdays make me sick and weekends make me crave for that sickness.

And it's not as though, I have'nt tried to do stuff ..
I did try for a language course .. but then .. I could not find a class .. I find all one to one tutions .. Which is probably the most boring way to learn a foreign language. I Have joined a gym ( yeah yeah .. laugh all you want .. I am not thin anymore and I need to shed some weight now .. And since I am on the topic .. Gyming does'nt make you fitter .. it only makes your arms hurt and makes you sleepy all day. ) .. but then .. gym is only 30 mints a day .. and not really the high point of my day.

Work-wise, I have decided to space out my remaining work .. I have a small thing left to do which has to be spread out over 10 days .. so that I have something to do for all 10 days .. otherwise I will be just idle for 9 of these days .. and GOD help me then ..

Basically My Life sucks here ..
Intrestingly .. I thought I will not grumble anymore .. but just could not stop myself from doing it today ..

you're beautiful

2006-06-08T17:29:00.000+05:30

My life is brilliant.
My life is brilliant

My love is pure.

I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.

She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,

'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded place,

And I don't know what to do,

'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yes, she caught my eye,

As we walked on by.

She could see from my face that I was,

Fucking high,

And I don't think that I'll see her again,

But we shared a moment that will last 'till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded place,

And I don't know what to do,

'Cause I'll never be with you.

La la la
la la la la la la

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,

When she thought up that I should be with you.

But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Blocked !!

2006-05-30T11:59:00.000+05:30

What do you do when you have a blogger's block ??
I have not found anything worth posting for the past two months .. and yet .. SOOO much has happened ..
During the past two months .. I have actually written and deleted four posts .. because after finishing the post I realized that I did not feel so strongly about it as I had thought I did (Reservations, for instance) .. I also deleted some posts that got a bit too personal (love life .. for instance) ..
how does one keep one's blog free from emotions and yet write posts that reflect what one feels ..

Basically , Lost the touch ..

A few things that came to my mind when I started posting in the past were
Reservations , Love Life , emotional turmoil 1 , Leaving hyderabad , Sucky sucky sucky bangalore , stupid Long training hours , new comapny , new team , Living with family , GOOD ( and free ) food , Good (and free) Lodging , trips to hyderabad ,
emotional turmoil 2 ..

Hello from Airtel !!

2006-04-01T13:30:00.000+05:30

I have been a Airtel Customer for quite some time now and they continue to amaze me with their business tact ..
During the months of November , December and January my phone bill touched new heights, each month bill competing with the earlier months' in a race to doom my financial fortunes .. they did partially succeed .. and during this period of three months I did not receive a single SMS/call from Airtel about offers/subscriptions .. the one time they called was around the 28th of each month to tell me that my bill has been generated and since i have crossed my credit limit, I should be paying by 30th of that month.
So, in February .. I decided that I have had enough .. No more frantic calling and sms-ing .. just stick to not more than 5 calls everyday and not more than 10 messages a day !! (Was HARD to say the least) .. and somehow Airtel's policies changed towards me. I started getting offers / free subscription and what not ..

Offer 1 -> Dear Airtel Customer, We have a special Offer JUST FOR YOU. Make at least 5 calls everyday between 10AM to 5PM and win a chance to win a 29 inch color TV .. absolutely FREE
(yeah i get that dumbo .. WIN means FREE) Here you should know that Airtel had noticed that between 10 to 5 i was only receiving calls and had not made a single call between these timings for about 20 days ..

Offer 2 -> Dear Airtel Customer, NOW you can download your favorite ring tones for FREE. just dial #@%% and choose your ring tone (Note - standard call charges apply)
Screw you .. given the time it take me to get to the ring tone menu . it's almost the same bill as having a heavy meal at Balaji

Offer 3 -> (Got this today) Dear Airtel Customer, We have a special offer just for YOU. This offer is extended to only a few select customers and you are among the lucky ones. You can now get your Hello Tune from amongst the top three Hello Tunes FOR FREE. We will play the top three at the end of this message and you can select you favorite tone. (This got me interested .. coz this was Airtel calling and i could download for free .. meaning absolutely no charge at all). Song 1 -> Something in Telugu .. ( Me .. "what the hell" ) .. Song 2 -> This one seems familiar but still Telugu .. ( Me .. "sucks .. !!") .. Song 3 -> Aashiq banaya .. aashiq banaya (Me .. "Oh god .. please tell me this is a April Fool thing and they will play some nice song at the end of all this torture" )

But that is where it all ends .. Airtel did it once more time !!

The Gangs of IIIT

2006-03-28T12:15:00.000+05:30

Long long time ago there used to be a little innocent boy .. Untouched by greed and desires .. unspoilt by the unholy will to rule them all .. unfazed by people telling him to kill to survive. And then, he walked into IIIT Hyderabad and life has never been the same for him. He took to violence like a fish to sea. A usp was to be his starter and sniper his daily meal.
He became member of a gang and became a part of the mob. Today, as he reminisces over the long hours of Counter strike in lab 5 .. he wonders how different the life would have been without that usp headshot or the sniper kill .. Satiates you like nothing else.
Ok .. enough melodrama for one post .. people have already told me that dramatics does not suit me ..
There were other gangs too .. and with pretty nice and innovative names .. :D ..
RAskullz .. pretty interesting group of guys .. awesome clan .. great team spirit and an awesome sniper in PlaiBoi .. practically threw us out of the CS tourney single-handedly .. still remember shooting chaos from the CS side of the bridge with a sniper when he jumped in air at the T-side to look at our side .. :D .. anyway .. we lost that game .. but not without a fight .. :)
JEdI .. group of second years .. nice gang with a secret weapon .. we almost lost to them because of him .. you see .. this weapon was named "Goooonzan" .. now tell me, how are you supposed to play CS with all seriousness when you see a name like that on top of your enemies head .. We laughed our asses off everytime this guy came within our shooting range .. and the end result was a frag for their team .. :D
another clan we player against was the M. Techs .. codenamed Pandavs :D .. we became their kauravas .. except that we screwed them biig time .. ok .. exaggeration .. but we did do pretty well against them .. thanks to our secret weapon .. jayaram :D ..
as for our own gang .. we were called undecided .. not because we could not decide on a name .. just that we figured out that we were always undecided about what to do when the game started .. everybody just thought of a random path to reach the opposite team and get killed .. the randomness algorithm was never the same for any two games for the same player .. we were good at it .. :D .. I led from the front .. figuring out the bizzarest way yo reach the opposite team and was the first frag for them (almost always .. :) .. unless jayaram intervened ..

Anyway .. gone are the good old days of fighting over the frags and simple pleasures of a usp headshot .. a deagle kill and 5 frags in a game ..

miss college .. miss CS ...

Bookmark

2006-03-06T15:20:00.000+05:30

A Clear sky, looked as though it was about to rain. It was about four in the afternoon. The neighborhood was not as noisy as it usualy was during other days at this time.
A small boy opens the small rusty gate that leads to a stone pavement. The small plants on the side of the pavement never interested him. He did'nt ever notice the red and green flowers because they appeared more like a wild growth than a result of hours of hard work. Of course, he was too young to appreciate the hard work that went into it. He would appreciate only the beautiful things in life, even if the ugly things scream about the toiling hours of tending and care. He picks up a flower, noticing from the corner of his eye that his mother or grandmother were not around. Even the wild flowers were not to be plucked, so taught his parents and grand parents. But this was a special occasion .. He had just finished eating two dal parathas at affectionate neighbours house (something which his grandma never appreciated) and having already commited one grave sin, this one seemed meagre in comparison.
His elder brother came out and took him by surprise. But instead of the usual bully look, he was smiling at his younger sibling. They both knew what that smile meant. His elder brother plucks another flower and they start counting the number of peatls in each. The rules were simple, the winner is the person with more petals in his flower. You were supposed to close your eyes and pick out your choice of flower and then the battle royale began. Of course,there was always a prize, the looser had to get water for the winner at the dinner table.
After the best of three rounds, they decide that they have had enough of childish games and they move out to see the lads playing cricket outside in the small ground outside. The elder brother was always the better one at analyzing the game and he had taught him well. On a few lucky days, when no one else was home, they would get to join the guys in the field so that the elder brother can showcase his extra ordinary batting and fielding abilities and the younger can demonstrate his crying abilities.
Anyway, today was not the lucky day that they had hoped and they had to demonstrate the spectating abilites more than anything else. It was just about beginning to rain now and the light drizzle made watching the game more enjoyable. From somewhere he heard a faint female voice calling his name, and turns around to see his mother ... time for them to go in and join the family for the evening snack. Although unhappy at being forced to miss out the thrilling finish to the game, he consoles himself with the thought of food inside the house. A small Pomeranian dog jumps in joy at the sight of him. The dog was his best friend, other than the elder brother and the guys at home. The big family finally settles down around the small snack table, and as the senior males munch on the political and economic problems of the country the senior females munch over the politics and economy of getting a new maid in the house. He need not worry about all that ... he has many years to go before he has to worry about the budget, maids, salary, house, vehicle and other such problems.
Nothing much had really HAPPENED that day .. but it still was a happy day.

Suddenly he wakes up .. and it's eighteen years later .. he smiles over the dream he had last night .. about his childhood .. his carefree times .. his untroubled life.
Having thought about it for five minutes, he finally throws his quilt to the side .. wakes up in a alien room, thatz not his but is rented. He talks to his room mates for about five minutes before two of them head off to work and the third one continues to grumble in sleep about his late hours of sleep. He takes bath .. gets ready .. and takes off on his bike in search of yet another bookmark of a day .. something that he will remember for the rest of his life .. but somewhere deep deep down he knows that today's just going to be just like any other day at work.

Cricket Quotes - Indo Pak Series

2006-02-19T23:36:00.000+05:30

"At times, it seemed that more direct hits were missed than there were people in the stands, more balls were fumbled than there are people in Karachi, throws were backed up in much the manner Brutus backed up Julius and as a collective, fielders became India's 12th, 13th and 14th men on the field. Indian batsmen gleefully took the piss, tapping straight to fielders and blindly, sans calls, running because even in the unlikely event of the ball being picked up clean, stumps weren't going to be struck. Mohammad Sami was particularly special, bizarrely pulling out of a catch at square leg and throwing regularly at an imaginary set of stumps on another ground. Many others made sure he didn't feel left out, with Shoaib Malik dropping Yuvraj Singh at extra-cover when 94 were needed at nearly eight per over. The only positive might be that it really can't get any worse." - Osman Samiuddin

"I'll go on record to say it that I am glad this defeat happened now rather than later in this year" - Bob Woolmer

"There is certain energy in the group" - Rahul Dravid

"And boy, can they chase." - Dileep Premachandran

"The scorecard might suggest otherwise - after all 288 can be a pretty imposing score. It was an impressive revival, once the top order faltered against Sreesanth and Co. for the fourth successive game, with Mohammad Yousuf and Younis Khan providing the boost. But considering the nature of the surface, the insipid nature of Pakistan's bowling effort, and their atrocious fielding display, no total might have been enough. Add Yuvraj Singh's near-invincible touch and Mahendra Singh Dhoni's golden hand, India's 13th successful run-chase on the trot was almost written in stone" - Siddhartha Vaidyanathan

RDB + Valentines' Day Headaches!!

2006-02-13T02:19:00.000+05:30

The second topic sounds more interesting to me right now .. especially since I am all blank right now after watching the movie. I normally get terrible hangovers after watching Aamir Khan movies ( not true with Mangal Pandey though .. ), but this one promises to be the Baap of all my hangovers .. I am tempted to go ahead and start with VD TIPS first ..
Anyway, in interests of continuity, I shall not change the order. I do know that I can shift + tab .. but as I say about ten times a day .. Too much Work .. :)

Rang De Basanti
RDB completes a trilogy of films on similar themes, though this one is lot more dramatic and hence , appealing. Similar themes have been used with great success in Yuva and Swades. The trick which the film-makers have used is to appeal to the youth. Of course, the mushy romances and the stupid skin flicks still steal the show when it comes to the box office collections. Still, once in a while comes a movie, which would attract the attention of each and every Indian, not for it's song and dance sequences or for it's skin show or for it's sex related jokes, but for the fact that it reminds him that he is an INDIAN, and the country belongs to him, as much as he belongs to the country. Movies like these make you question yourself, make you wonder what have you been wasting your life with so far .. with absolutely no remorse or guilt whatsoever.
Not everything in life has to have; as dramatic a solution as shown in RDB, but still the bottomline is, we should not be just blaming others for what's wrong in the country. It's our country too. The movie is not anti politics. The movie ends with the lesson - The politicians are not to be blamed for everything that's wrong in the country .. We chose them .. either by voting for them .. or by not voting for a better candidate .. if they are corrupt .. then so are we .. they have come from amongst us .. So, next time you see something wrong with the country, with the city, with the society that you live in, with the things around you .. just go up and change it yourself rather than waiting for someone to come and save you. You are your own messiah.

Valentines' Day
On a much, much, much lighter note .. Here are a few things that trouble guys in the age group 13-28 (extensible limits) during the dates 9th Feb to 14th Feb. Some Googling and Wiki-ing gave me this ..
9 -chocolate day
10 - Gift Day
11 - kiss Day
12 - Slap Day
13 - Hug Day
14 - Valentines Day ;-)
Of course, I did'nt remember the days .. I have trouble remembering her birthday .. forget remembering the six days by name .. If left to me .. all days would be chocolate day .. but you can't get everything in Life .. Sniff Sniff ..
anyway .. back to the list ..
1> The GIFT - You need to get her a gift .. the problem with this is .. the art of choosing a perfect gift. that's not as easy as it Sounds .. Here is what your GF thinks when you buy her
- a card ( chhe .. too cheap .. can't even spend some extra bucks for me)
- a Pen (cheap by all standards .. could'nt he just buy me a stuffed toy)
- a stuffed toy ( does this guy lack imagination or what .. all my friends get the same toy .. could'nt he buy me something that required something more than just going to archie's and picking the nearest item )
- a choclate ( just a choclate ?? what does he think I am .. EIGHT ?? )
- a mug ( I already see enough coffee mugs during the breaks at office . what do I need another one for .. )
- a Ring ( VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO .. not ready for commitment yet dude .. letz just be friends .. can I still get to keep the ring ?? )
Of course , she would always be nice enough to never say these things to yor face .. girls are gentler (thatz what we like them to think), plus they can always use an extra pen / card / stuffed toy / mug to add to their collection.
As far as I understand, the trick is to get her something which she needs ( not just wants ) but yet, is unexpected. Of course this would require knowing a lot about her needs and wants and expectations .. but thatz what the day is about .. give some serious thought to the gift.
2> You see the long list of days at the start of this section .. well .. memorize them .. carve them on your chest, or to be less dramatic/romantic, put reminder on your cell phones, put post it sticks at your desk, but NEVER EVER forget them. Because, If you do, rest assured she will make sure that you don't have to worry about the first point. This is true in most cases, but I shall not generalize it. Girls can be forgiving too .. but in most cases that means that even she forgot the day.
3> The Perfect Date .. Where is the big question. You have been with her all over the town .. and so you can't take her to these places ... because this is the BIG day .. this is the BIG date .. you can't just treat her in any restraunt that you anyway frequent twice a week. this one has to be special. Do not panic, dear friend .. The best thing to do shall be to cook food yourself .. ofcourse .. it shall taste crap .. and would require lots of work .. but it's still worth it. :)

[disclaimer] No Disclaimer [/disclaimer]

Long time No See

2006-02-07T22:08:00.000+05:30

It's been a really long time that I have posted anything here. One of the reasons for that has been that my life has changed drastically. Took me some time to cope with the flood of new things in life. But, now I guess .. things are getting back to normal for me.
Funny things happen when you are in your early twenties and have lost your first job (read .. unceremoniously kicked out of office ). You start looking at things differently. You start hating corporate culture. You download "office space" and watch it a zillion times over. You see the construction workers and wonder if they recruit. Most questions asked to you are with the sympathetic tilt of the head. You repent the fact that you would be ashamed of working as a waiter, who .. by the way .. is presently earning more than you. New schemes pop in your head .. what if I could open a restraunt .. people have to eat .. right ?? .. or may be .. I should start giving tutions to high school students .. ahh .. forget it .. why spoil the country's future .. or may be I can open a software company and recruit friends ( who will actually work ) and in a few years buy the company that fired me.
And then out of nowhere, one interview call and it all changes. You study so hard that if you studied half of that much in college, you would have probably got the gold medal from YSR Reddy. More calls .. calls calls calls all day .. there are days when all you do is attend calls and answer to "Tell me about yourself" about a hundred times. It's all like a flashback .. it's all similar to what happened during placements .. and yet .. so different.
One mistake and you regret it for your life .. thats what corporates do to you.
Anyway .. things are not still at their best ( atleast on the job front ) .. but good thing is atleast I have offers now ..
The good thing abut the past one and a half month has been it has brought me closer to Life. It's good to hear from people that "I believe in you" .. and "Take it easy .. it will all be over .. you are too good for Verizon anyway " .. and top of all .. from my mom .. "It's ok beta .. don't worry about it .. you anyway hated the work they were giving you .. so just lay back for a while .. go out.. watch a few movies .. bike hai na .. ladki ghumao .. khana khao .. so jao ".
I could not stop laughing for about half an hour about that remark :)

Aashaayen

2005-12-18T11:00:00.000+05:30

Thatz the name of my latest Favorite song .. from the movie Iqbal.
The moment we got internet at our apartment a couple of days back .. one of the first things done was to download this song.

Somethings and some people make me wonder though ... Is there anything like hoping for "too much" .. hoping and trying for what you can't get .. hoping and trying for what never was , is'nt and never will be yours ..

Siddhrth in DCH
"Is raet ko dekh rahi ho ... Jitni bhi koshish karo ise jyada pakadne ki . utni hi ungliyon ke beech se nikal jaati hai " ..
( see this sand in my hands .. the more you try to hold it within your palm . the more it will slip out between your fingers )

How true ..

Perfection Petrified !!

2005-12-09T11:57:00.000+05:30

I am making no conscious effort to censor a part of my life that I don't feel great about. It's just that it comes involuntarily.
First things first ..
I have decided to change the title of my Blog.
Now on .. it's going to be "Perfection Petrified" .. So .. all you unfortunate people who don't have anything better to do than to add my Blog's title to your blog roll, You may want to change it from the confusing alphanumeric sequence to something more readable. If you are wondering why am I doing this .. Well .. Change is inevitable and variety is the spice of life. You can't just continue to have the same blog title and get comments on some M$ fanatic's page which says "51n15t9r .. not sure he has killed even a mosquito till date" .. screw you .. what about the numerous killings in dust2, aztec, Usp_map, inferno .. screw you again !!
aneway .. Second things second ..
In case you still have'nt read this .. you may want to go through the link below ..
she's only 83, Cradle Robber .. Made me think .. whether a long life really is what I want .. of course, Tony Long presented a very hilarious and funny picture .. but on a serious note .. do we really want to live THAT long. Sreejith rightly said that he would rather prefer a short happy life than a long boring life, which ends up in being a burden more than anything else ( Not that he is any less of a burden now .. weighs more than 1 ton ) .. but I have to agree with sreejith in this regard .. who wants to live till 200. There is nothing that you cannnot achieve in the 80 odd years that America says is the Average life span in there. Letz clear up some space for the yournger generation ( talking to you .. all you fatsos ) ..
Time for a change of topic before someone points out that I can be counted among those with tummies ..
Few things have changed since the last time I posted ..
1st .. i bought a bike .. Hero Honda Glamour .. pretty cool looking and gives me a reasonably good average .. A Bit expensive though .. but it's ok .. worth the money !!
2nd .. a couple of close friends had a small accident last monday .. quite freakish .. must thank the inventor of Helmets .. and people sitting around me keep scaring me that I am the next in line .. ( out of the 4 in our cubicle .. 3 already had accidents .. ) .. been trying to convince myself that Iam a safe driver .. but somewhere deep deep deep down I know that I need a helmet ..
3rd .. As far as work life is concerned .. nothing much has changed .. which is not a very good thing .. I never was a work freak .. and calling myself a workacholic would be an exxageration .. but of late .. work has become kind of repetetive .. I won't say it's boring .. but it's not something I am very happy doing !!
4th .. Love Life .. My mother has conviniently forgotten that I talked to her about the girl in my life .. ( according to some even I have forgotten that I have a girl in my life .. ) everytime I call her she keeps telling me that she is looking for girls for bro AND ME ( oh my god .. am i marriable age already ?? ) .. Yesterday she called and asked how much did I weigh ..I told her 68 Kgs .. and she asked me to reduce weight else I won't get married .. what the hell .. I am not a girl who has to be slim and smart and sexy to get married .. I am a guy and one of the advantages of being the uglier gender is that you would get a girl even though you are a fat, ugly, disgusting Pig .. only thing is that you have to have a job .. and tadaaaa .. you are done ..
By the way .. any pointers on how do i start talking to my mom ( again ) about the issue shall be appreciated .. took me a hell lot of guts to speak to her once about it .. wonder how will I ever do it again ..
F1 F1 F1 ??
or may be F2 ?? :D

Innovative Ways to do some Social Service

2005-11-21T15:59:00.000+05:30

1> Around the month of June, July, August .. there would be an Ad in the newspapers all over the country about something called as CAT. It would ask you to appear for the best management institues in the country. But, smart as we are, we have other things like Social Service on our minds. What we do is, Apply for the examination and not appear for it. You may wonder how that comes under social service .. Well .. the answer is simple .. We are all Smart people .. we would top CAT if we appeared .. now .. the guy who misses out by one because of smart asses like me .. well .. I am doing some social service for him .. pretty simple and whole hearted effort to make life better for an individual .. so what say guys .. how about not appearing for CAT, after having filled the Form, next year on ??
BTW .. don't worry about the thousand-hundred bucks .. God's watching .. he will pay you back

2> Let's imagine, that you went to Bangalore for a family function .. Let's assume that the family function is a Cousin's Marrige .. How can we do Social Service in this scenario .. well .. pertty simple again .. what we do is .. We book a ticket for Rajdhani from Bangalore to Hyderabad .. and at the last moment decide to come by bus a couple of days earlier. Now .. the Social Service does not end here .. what you actually have to do is to _NOT_ cancel the ticket . wondering how is THAT community service .. well .. think about the poor guy who wanted to travel inRAjdhani all his life and finally had enough money to pay for the ticket .. and just because of someone like me and you .. he was pushed to waiting list .. now . because you did'nt show up .. the lucky guy finaly achieves the dream of his life by travelling in Rajdhani ... You might be wondering that you could have done social service even if you had cancelled the ticket .. that way .. you would have done social service to people in Bangalore . who are rich and don't need social service ... now since you did'nt cancel your ticket . the berth was given to someone not in bangalore but to someone in someone in a poorer city .. now .. you would be wondering what happened to the 1050 bucks .. well .. don't worry .. God's watching .. he will pay you back.

3> _THIS_ one is for all of you who are still in college and are about to pay mess fees. YOU can not pay mess fees and pay on a daily basis to the mess walah .. this way .. you are paying him for his _DAILY_ bread and butter .. now all you smarty pants would think that this is not big deal and you would be refunded the amount at the end of year along with caution deposit .. herez the trick .. when they give you the caution fee check which is a measly 5.5k ( and should have been 7.0k if mess refund was included ) .. you don't fight back .. see .. pretty simple ... now you are doing the biggest community service ever .. you are paying the poor mess wallah TWICE .. for the wonderful food he had provided us for four years .. ahh dear old mess .. what would I have done without it .. aneway .. do not worry about the 1,500 .. God's watching .. he will give it all back.

There are a few more forms of social service that I could have included here .. but God ( My Module Lead ) is watching ..

BTW .. in case you are wondering who would be the sensitive guy, who would have done
these great acts of kindness, the answer is your's truly.

PS -> you may want to replace the words "sensitive guy" in the last sentence with "stupid ass" ... totally upto the reader.

" Be Like That" - 3 Doors Down .. + Movie Reviews

2005-11-15T20:45:00.000+05:30

Be Like that - Had heard this song before too .. but just don't know why .. felt like hearing it again today ..

He spends his nights in California
Watching the stars on the big screen.
Then he lies awake and wonders
Why can't that be me?
Cause in his life he's filled with all these good intentions.
He's left a lot of things he'd rather not mention right now.
But just before he says goodnight,
He looks up with a little smile at me and he says

If I could be like that
I'd give anything
Just to live one day
In those shoes.
If I could be like that, what would I do?
What would I do?

Now and dreams we run.

She spends her days up in the north park,
watching the people as they pass.
And all she wants is just a little piee of this dream, is that too much to ask?
With a safe home, and a warm bed, on a quiet little street.
All she wants is just that something to hold onto, that's all she needs.

Yeah!

If I could be like that, I would give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes.
If I could be like that, what would I do?
What would I do?

I'm falling into this, in dreams we run away.

If I could be like that, I would give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes.
If I could be like that, what would I do?
What would I do?

If I could be like that, I would give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes.
If I could be like that, what would I do?
What would I do?

If I could be like that, I would give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes.
If I could be like that, what would I do?
What would I do?

Falling in.
I feel I am falling in to this again

Movie Reviews

Cellular -
Nokia Ad .. But nice concept .. and great action ..

"Hazaaron Khvaahishen Aisii .." -
hazaaron Khvaahishen aisii ki har Khvaaish pe dam nikale,
Bahut nikale mere armaan lekin phir bhii kam nikale
.. Awesome movie about 3 individuals who start from the same college, each with his/her own motivation in life. It's a movie about courage, passion and following your dream / love to the end. Awesome movie.

"Yahaan" -
Beautiful girl, one awesome song and pretty good story line. Would rate it 3 out of 5.

Kyunki .. I MUST Blog

2005-11-08T18:55:00.000+05:30

First thing .. no more writing posts in points or conversations ..
We engineers seem to think everything point-vise and that takes away the whole fun of blogging and at the end of it all, the post ends up looking more like a Technical Writeup / Project Report / Module summary. This time, I am forcing myself to _NOT_ write in points.
I took a break for 10 days for Diwali, mainly to attend my cousin's marrige in Bangalore and to finally celebrate Diwali with family.
Pune
It all started pretty well .. All tickets were booked well in advance to save any last minute rush. The train tickets were for upper berths to save myself from crying babies and shouting aunites. The jouney from Hyderabad to Pune seemed pretty short, basically because I was sleeping most of the time. I landed in Pune on 30tth early morning ( late night on 29th actually ) .. only to find out that my brother could not pass the message to me that he won't be in Pune for a day. So, there I was . standing at Pune station .. hungry and sleepy .. and with nowhere to go. But thanx to the Lodge facility, I did'nt have to spend the night on the platform or Waiting Room. Next morning, my brother picks me up .. and we happily go to his place, which is about 10 KMs from the main city, which meant that no shopping, 5 km ride for food, and a boring apartment (with a TV .. Thank GOD) all for myself coz my bro was off for work all the time. The boredom was finally relieved on 31st night, when my parents finally landed in Pune. What followed thereon, was the usual daily routine that I follow at home so well, which means .. getting up early .. pretending to be a good boy all day by not doing anything .. utkarsh-ish .. and then going to sleep early. Aneway .. since this was the regime I was supposed to follow for 10 days .. I got into the groove pretty early.
Bangalore
Ok .. of all the possible ways that the railway department can screw a guy .. the worst is to place him in a compartment with crying babies and tending mothers and toabcco chewing dads. I have had the honour of being screwed over, a record number of times by the railway department ... and this time was no different. Let me just say, that this was yet another un-eventful train journey ( just wondering how the hell do all the hot chics travel .. never find any in my compartment ).
Once I reached Bangalore .. it was a bit better .. met a LOOOOOT of relatives. Some of them , I had never met before in my life while a few others I could not recollect when I had met them last. The names I had heard from my parents finally had faces to map to. The common start to most conversations was "Are Meetu .. Tum to Mote Ho gaye" ( Yeah .. like they were expecting me to be wire-thin all my life ). My mom did drop a bomb though .. "Meetu .. Ab aur mote mat hona" ( OH MY GOD .. AM I THAT FAT ALREADY ?? .. and is this the same person who used to tell me all the time to gain some weight so that I can look like a part of the family .. (all overweights :) ))
I did successfully evade the questions on the inevitable topic of my marrige though, about a dozen times. Thankfully, there were no grls at the marrige that I was asked to judge / choose / pick. Hence it was a lot better than the last marrige I attended . I was asked about the kind of girl I would like .. and all that was running through my mind at that time was the CS thing "Get out of there . it's gonna Blow" .. I just smiled and evaded the question with the good boy answer "Any Grl you people decide will be fine .. after all she is your bahu too" .. Wow .. talk about sweet talk .. I must be getting good at it. ** Bomb diffused **
The Marrige
The main reason for the trip to Bangalore was to attend a cousin's marrige. The function was on 4th, and we had reached Bangalore just a day before. We did'nt get to be a part of many rituals ( like Tilak ) .. but we did have the marrige to look forward to. Since, my cousin was getting married to an Air Force Officer .. the Baraat, rituals, everything seemed to be following millitary time. We Kayasthas are known to be the BEST in late coming business ( my bro is sooo good at it that he once went for a test one day late ) .. but we did cope pretty well with it.
The actual function was more of a sob-fest than a happy memory for me. The rituals seem to be soo damm cruel. I did'nt know what exactly was the purpose of dropping food into the fire during these things .. untill this time .. when I was told that this signifies that the girl is returning all the she had eaten at her parent's house to them and the rice grains that are thrown by the girl signify that she has finally returned everything she took from her father's house. Sounds rather sad.
For a change . even I wept ..
Mysore + Ooty
One of the reasons I had gone to Bangalore was to do something I had been trying to do for a looong time .. and I had been looking for a appropriate moment to do it. In the middle of marrige, you hardly find time to open your heart and let someone know about your feelings .. but the calm of the hills in Ooty gave me the perfect oppertunity. I knew I had to do it and there is never going to be a better time to do it.
Before I start with disclosing the suspense i have built up in the last few lines .. lemme just add a couple more lines about the beautifull hills of Ooty. They are CRAP .. not even close to Shimla. For everything that I saw in Ooty, I could remember seeing a better depiction in Shimla.
We were on a two day trip to Mysore and Ooty .. and boy . did we choose the wrong two days. We did'nt have any hotel reservations in Mysore and we thought we would do it once we are done with all the sight seeing. This was on Saturday. Late at night .. at about 8:30 PM when we did begin hotel/lodge hunting .. we found out that there was some exam in Mysore on sunday and all Hotels and Lodge were occupied. So .. basically we did'nt have a place to spend the night ( we = a group of 13 .. which included 2 grandmas ) .. ok . Not a problem .. we can spend the night in mini bus we were travelling in .. and we DID. Was a bit cramped and uncomfortable and painful .. but we did.
We had stopped somewhere on the way for a cup of tea .. and that was were I did .. what I had to.
Maa .. Ek Ladki hai
I took my mother aside for a small walk while others were sipping their cups ... and started with in worst possible manner. All the tips from the soktskill classes for a "Good presentaion" started coming to my mind .. sugarcoat you arguments .. don't be argumentative .. smile all the time .. Dammit .. this was the presentation for my LIFE. But I did forget the basic rule .. though .. reherse your presentaion .. even in the chill of ooty night . I was sweating.. this was tougher than proposing .. aneway .. I started
Me -> Maa .. Ek baat karni hai ..
no words from mom .. face turns serious ..
Me -> Maa .. Ek Ladki hai ..
her expressions changes to discomfort ..
I fire the Ram-Baaan ..
She defende well ..
usual conversation follows ..
**%$#^$%^$% $%^$&^&#$@#%$%%^&&***
in the end .. battle won .. 60% ..
We came back to Bangalore on 6th night. Spent a blisfull night, having gotten the load off my chest. Next day .. it was my mom's turn to takem e out for a walk .. she asked strange questions .. like .. whatz her height .. I found it a bit funny .. but I think this question was more a result of my previous adventures rather than a insightful doubt. Strangely she still has'nt asked her name .. but what the hell .. she did ask her family background and educational qualifications .. Good enough .. Battle Won .. almost .. make it 70% ..
The End
I went shopping the next day and bought a Timex Watch .. and a Nokia 2600 Cell Phone.
I left Bangalore a little earlier than planned .. did'nt want to spend another two days there .. roaming about the city. I Wanted to get back to work .. for reasons I am still trying to understand ..

My Recent Past

2005-10-21T15:26:00.000+05:30

In Chennai,
1> We took a day off from the schedule to go to Dizzy World. It had lots of rides . and as the name suggests, they do make you dizzy. Went to the giant wheel first, then a couple more swinging rides and then the baap of it all - The RollerCoster. This was probably the first time, I was on one of these things. Loved it, even though it was just for 35 seconds, those 35 seconds were worth the 350 odd bucks we had put for the entry to the park.
2> Next weekend, we visited Pondy .. Lovely place with cheap liquor. The rock beach (saw one for the first time) was awesome. I had about a couple of mugs of beer in the morning, and a breezer with a half pack of cigarretes in the evening. That was it for me. Did'nt want to get drunk there and spoil the fun for myself. the evening was a lot more eventful .. We understood and realized that we are not the frustoo-est people on the planet. There are many like us.
The trip was a much needed berak from the going-to-office-and-doing-nothing-sipping-coffee schedule. I needed to get away from the boring life and the unbloggable thoughts that had been troubling me for somedays. I had so much fun on the trip that when I came back, I just looked up to the sky and showed a finger to whosoever is scripting my life.
In Hyderabad,
1> I landed in Hyderabad on 14th morning. the Flight was fun (first time for me). Although it was not even close to the rollercoster ride ( Jaya told me the experience would be similar ) .. but still it was good enough. Another good thing .. my company is great .. they have provided us 10 days accomodation in Amrutha Castle. The good thing about this hotel is that they are also providing lodging to some Asian rowing teams who have come here for the Asian Rowing Championship. The people staying in my wing are all hot looking babes in skimpy outfits. Probably best 10 days of my life :)
2> It's good to be back among friends. Rocky's office is in the building next to ours and Maddy is'nt too far either. That leaves out Pop and Parivesh. They are just too far off to visit on week days, but will meet them asaift.
3> Since we had just landed in hyderabad, we had little work for the first few days as we were busy installing softwares etc etc etc. And no work, bugs me more than anything. So I decided to help myself with a contact manager ( actually Sreejith's idea ). Is'nt too great , hardly functional. Did'nt do what it was supposed to do and I ended up making a simple search page. I wanted to add some more functionality which I could'nt do .. May be sometime later, when i am bored again.
4> My Module Lead was also surprised to see me working on .Net, when everyone else was busy looking for accomodation. Why should I worry about it .. I have Rocky, Mr. Responsible himself ... I told my Lead that I'll go to the house only to approve it .. rest all work has been outsourced.
5> I was on a one day fast yesterday .. no water no food .. could'nt actually keep up with it .. did have one cup coffee and one glass water before having a heavy dinner and 2 ice-creams.
sushmithaa's interpretation -> I was on a fast, because I wanted work and hence I was on a hunger strike ..
anjana's + Arvind's interpretation -> since yesterday was karwa-chauth .. i was fasting for that.
Actual Reason -> Just wanted to see what the fuss was about. Many say "I feel great after fasts" and blah blah blah .. was'nt much better for me .. my trouser already feels loose.
6> My Module Lead could'nt see my sorry state any more and called me over to a conference in the evening and assigns me a biig module. Me and a senior, that is. Good, I finally have work.

Interestingly .. all these days .. when I did'nt have work .. I did'nt blog .. Now I have Work .. strange .. ;)

Literary Delight .. + A mind with no work

2005-10-07T15:13:00.000+05:30

A Few Poems First
Found these on KOPOS'(Change - 1) Blog ..
I Find them really awesome.
A Depressed Soul , My Friend , and Stranger
Nice Poems KOPOS (Change - 2) .. just wished I had access to a few more of your recent poems.
The last poem in your blog is dated June 3oth.
This one comes from Manas Saran -> The One thing I can't Do
Awesome Poems guys .. hoping for more of these ..
Now, moving onto more philosophical stuff .. ;)
A mind with no Work
Is a devil's workshop .. yeah I know that .. but the devil in me has been bored and has been used to his full potential. Basically, even he is jobless now.
I had phases like this in college, when I had absolutely no work ( uhmm .. well .. all of the 4 years were like this .. but let me just pretend that I did work some times ) .. and then all of a sudden some work would crop up and I would make a lazy face and say "Chhe .. more work ??" .. Pankaj would try giving me work for FYP ( ditto for Parivesh during Virtual Lab and DIP ) .. and then soon realize that it's just not possible to extract work out of me. I was happy then. Basically because I had other work to do, which meant
1> CS
2> Chatting
3> More CS
4> More Chatting
5> Crime Library . com
6> AOC
7> More of Crime Library . com
8> Coffee Breaks
But now, with (Limit -> 0) access to internet and Games, the only glimmer of hope comes through the all mighty Blogspot.com .. Thanx to who ever came up with the idea of blogging and thanx to people like Ranta and Jaya, who started the culture in our batch , I have atleast something to do at office.
But even then, people just dont' post enough stuff. I have already gone through
Rocky's-talks-to-everyone-blog (twice)
Kunal's-preperation-for-CAT-Blog
Maddy's once-upon-a-time-blog
Ranta's-Blog-about-Love-Life-and-Linux
Jaya's Stupid-Philosophical-Funny-Blog
Archana's-Life's-Problems-Blog
Google's-Technical-but-Linux-Only Blog
Sayantika's Tragic-Blog ( both(-Dreamy) of them )
Chandu's Will-Post-From-My-DeathBed-Blog
Sam's Moved-To-MSN-and-smwhere-else-and-smwhere-Else-so-many-blogs-that-I-am-confused-Blog.

Add to that KOPOS's (change - 3) Poetic Blog and Manas Saran's Please-Post-Something-Blog ( both of them write beautiful poems but not often enough ).
Ahh . I forgot .. I even went through my own-Stupid-Old-Crappy blog ( including the archives ).
Guys this is a humble request to please post as much as possible.
If you really want to get an idea of how frusto I am, after the drought of posts from you guys's end .. please visit .. Kunal' Post - My Comment .. Kunal has obliged, I request the rest of you to do the same.
PS -> At the end of the complicated copy pasting process of blog links onto my Post Body, this kind of looks like My Blog Roll. :)

Truly INDIAN !!

2005-10-05T15:11:00.000+05:30

You HAVE to read this ..

Alka'a Post

I wanted to leave a comment there, but the volume of comments on that page kind of scared me. Already there have been a zillion people who have said great things about the post, so let me just put my comment here (+ I need something to post about :) )

The reason, as she has rightly pointed out, for India succeeding where our neighbours failed, is that we Indians are better than most, at recovering from the debris that British left for us. We have been great at preserving democracy, our police and legal system might have a few loopholes but they still are better than most other countries ( compring to countries that were under british rule like pak/bangladesh etc etc ) and we have been known to be amongst the best brains in the world ( courtesty India Daily ).
The mediocre thinking (Another couple of words borrowed from Alka's Post) has been the reason why rural India/parts of India, is/are still under-developed. The sooner we realise this, the sooner would we understand that India is not just another country which has been gifted by Brit's rule, but India is the only country that has overriden the effect of British rule to make itself a truly Global Player.
Intrestingly, some one had commented earlier on this very post saying that since this blog was about realizing the strength of Indians, it should have been written in Hindi. Good logic, but .. this kind of opens up another debate .. is English a curse to India, a parting gift from Brits in many jokes, that has hindered the development of our national language "Hindi", or has it provided a platform to speak in a common language that everybody can understand. To me, the second argument makes more sense, but it's still debatable.
Btw, I am thankful to British rule for one thing though, the Indian independence. Without the British rule in India, it would have been kind of tough to think of national integration and would have been tough the realize the power of the nation.
Thank you Brits.

Back to Hyderabad

2005-09-29T20:22:00.000+05:30

Got the date of reporting at Hyderabad Office Yesterday . finally .. Have to be there on 17th of October.

Been so lost with myself lately ( not busy actually . just did'nt bother to check my mails ) that I forgot a couple of close friends' birthdays .. and both of them seem to have taken a vow to not talk to me .. ( if you are reading this .. sorry again .. ) .. aneway .. no amount of persuasion can help my case much .. I did screw up .. I know .

Uhmm .. not feeling too good today .. Fucking mood swings ..

Kahani mein TWIST hai !!!

2005-09-22T19:04:00.000+05:30

For all Linux fans, the latest news article on Slashdot would come as a cold shower on a winter Sunday morning. I love Linux, no doubt .. but I admire M$'s for all the mud slinging that it has survived and for still ruling the market in almost all sections. The article reports finding of a VIRUS FOR LINUX . So .. for all the Linux fans, who have been boasting of Linux as a "Virus Free OS" and M$ as the "most buggy OS that can be made" .. it might seem a bit odd that the Virus was targeted at Linux and has no impact on any of the Windows Files.
I know that we should not jump to conclusions here, as the infected binaries were available from a Mozilla trusted site and not from Mozilla.org ..AND I KNOW that M$'s buggy codes come from MSDN .. the point is that it's highly possible that in near future Linux would itself turn into a far more buggy OS than M$. Linux lovers proclaim "Linux's security model is so well designed that it can never be breached" .. but it seems it's not that secure either.
By the way .. the Virus was originally reported in 2002 but has had minimal impact on any business, has come to my attention only through the article on Slashdot.
By the way .. Symantec says the security threat is very low .. the "Wildness" "Damage" and "Distribution" have been classified as LOW.

Heights of Creativity or Lack of it .. + Life @ Alpha center, 150-151, North Usman Road, T.Nagar, Chennai

2005-09-20T23:16:00.000+05:30

I can see huge Posters,all over chennai, that make me post what I am about to. What is it about Sex, that it sells ? Even though your product has nothing to do , even remotely, with it but yet .. even a vague reference to it and you have everyone's attention. And I am not just talking about products as in material products, think about it .. the recent spate of movies ( atleast the ones coming from the economic capital ) have nothing but skin show. Nowadays, you need not think of a storyline to make a movie, forget the special effects and all technical details of film making .. all you need is a heroine who is willing to give four smooches ( unfortunately to the ugliest of heroes at most times ) , is willing to wear minimal clothing and is ready to give a beach/stable/rooftop/bed scene. If you have a hero with a reasonable good physique and who is equally willing to wear minimal clothing .. it's added flavour.. Add to it a few suggestive dialogues .. and few sex-related jokes and bingo .. you have got the perfect movie which you can promote as a "Family entertainer".
My recent experiences at "Salaam Namaste" and after seeing the Gym ads all over the city .. I can't understand if it comes under creative license or is it just misusing the license to show something that is bound to attract everyone's attention.
Btw .. Sorry to all Preity and Saif Fans .. but the movie sucked BIIIG time. I could have just gone to the movie with Parivesh and Kunal and have played "Guess the FRIENDS episode". Everything was a copy from FRIENDS. Starting from Saif's character ( a cook who is cleanliness freak . huuh .. where have I heard that before ), to the immensely senti dialogue ( I don't like you because you are fat etc etc etc .. I like you inspite of all that .. are comeon guys .. atleast change the flavour) to the Joey's Chairs changed to white to suit Arshad Warsi's house and mood .. idiots could'nt even enact the awesome "Ahhhhh" of relaxing on the chairs. Somehow, every scene in the movie reminded me of some FRIENDS episode and I am sure I am not THAT crazy about FRIENDS either.
the Giant posters all over chennai have some weird theme .. Picture this .. -> A women ( in her early thirties) and the line written next to her is "First time he coaxed me to do it .. now it's the other way round" .. A guy ( aged somewhere around 25 - 26) and the line next to him reads "The more I do it .. the better I get at it" .. another one with a happy looking chap ( as if he just got paid .. ) reads "Everyone in college seems to be doing it" .. If you think all this is suggestive .. what will you call this .. A girl ( a GIRL .. not a woman) with the line " I have tried all the positions .. it feels great" .. Beleive me none of them had even a remote reference to the GYM ( not even a small logo) they were supposed to promote, till a week back. Whatever happened to the good old wonderful world of innocent kids and well dressed aunties in ads. I am told, it's all about brand imaging .. but I feel, that ads like the ones I mentioned above create short term impact .. and then after a while you forget such things .. the brand's image life is'nt long .. but remember the Dhara Ad with the kid who runs away from home and then comes back to eat "Jalebis" .. these are the kind of ads that make us fall inlove with the product.

Change of Topic ..
Let's take a minute off to know whats happening in My Life .. ( is'nt much anyway )
Among the good things to have happened to me during the last few days are

I saw "Iqbal" .. awesome movie .. much better than the hot sellers in theaters these days
Successfully created Views on my comp ( for all you lesser mortals who don't understand what that means .. it means I have been able to get the copy of Project code from File repository to my local machine)
The Reliance i-Phone at home is back to usable condition.

Now the Bad things that have happened to me during the past few days ( have patience .. it's a BIG list )

I have screwed up my cell phone .. First a Giant wave (ok .. was'nt a giant wave .. just some extra pull from the moon ) on the beach drenches me and then my cellphone which was on my lap is found two minutes later in a small hole filled with water. It's screwed up BIG time. Sometimes it fails to recognize the sim, sometimes the sim works on other cells, sometimes other's sims work on my phone, sometimes my joystick stops working, sometimes my keypad stops funcitoning, (actually a lot of these sometimes occur at the same time). To add to that .. I dropped my cell yesterday ( I have no idea why I am still carrying it around aneway ) on the road and the ir port glass is missing + my cell phone now looks like it was excavated from Harappa rather than manufactured in Korea.
I have'nt touched Visual Studio for anything other than seeing the flow of a code which I did'nt write and I have to document. They told us at the meeting today that documentation is essential for all freshers at all companies .. would like to see my friends' take on that. Essentially I have'nt coded even a single like during the past week.
I have Sreejith sitting next to me who seems to think that our joined desk is to be shared in propotion to our weights. Hence he takes up three-fourths of the space and still keeps pushing me till I am almost under the table near the CPU.
I saw "Mangal Pandey"
As if that was'nt enough .. I watched "My Wife's Murder"
And as though that was'nt enough either .. I watched "Salaam Namaste" too .
I am planning to watch Choclate and James.
I almost went for a Tamil Flick .. ( Yeah I am that despo for something good )
I still have'nt recieved my HSBC credit card
I have to pay 9000 for the plane tickets which i paid for using credit card. Now my parent's are not coming. Cancellation means refund next month.

By the way .. I am not writing about how frustrated I was, the day I could'nt create Views on my computer .. because i know atleast two people who said I would blog about it .. and it feels good to do something unexpected.

Frustrated ..

2005-09-03T19:27:00.000+05:30

I am bored and exhausted and frustrated

I worked till 1:30 in the night yesterday (today??), and I am still at the same place where it all started at 8:00 in the night. "Object must implement IConvertible".

Me, a few days back, "The time that we put in does'nt matter .. results matter".

And I have absolutely no results for the work yesterday. It's not the time that matters to me, what I feel bad about is the fact that I spent so much time trying to find out what was wrong and still I could'nt do it.

Life does'nt get more boring than this.

I wish I knew what was wrong. The Procs seems to working fine, the Service Layer function seem to working fine, and yet when I put them together, it does'nt work. WHY ??

Any help ?? :)

Back To College .. Graduate now

2005-08-21T12:53:00.000+05:30

"You can take students out of IIIT but you cannot take IIIT out of students".
- PJN at farewell

The quote was upgraded to Indians and India by the CSIR director yesterday, who happened to be the Chief guest at the Convocation. His speech was the high point of the function, and after a long time I spent half an hour, listening to a 60 year old , talk about Indian economy and brain drain and the new definition for IT - "Indian Talent". The other high point ( ok .. I know that there is supposed to be just one high point .. but this is worth mentioning ) was the time I went up to recieve my degree, shook hands with diro and posed for the camera. Of course I wanted to finish all this as soon as possible. Not that I was very eager to get my degree, but posing for cameras just is'nt my USP. But apparently, the cameraman had other ideas. I always thought that the Nike Catch Line "Just Do It" was cool, but somehow it made more sense that moment ( on a personel note .. the word "please .." after the catch line would have been more appropriate at that moment). I am pretty sure even the diro was uncomfortable with the company he had, and the cameraman took full 10 seconds to do something that requires one single motion of his index finger - "Click" .. yeah .. thatz it .. "Thank You" ( meant more for the cameraman than our diro) .. I am pretty sure diro felt the same.
We were paraded twice before the audience, once for recieving the degre and once for formally granting the degree. Aneway, the good thing about this audience was, there were a few enthus amongst them, who needed a seconds' silence to start clapping. So the seconds' silence after my name was being called, or the silence after diro said "You students deserve this degree was the four years of hard work that you have put in" ( Hard Word ?? .. we hardly worked ..) and after chief guests' " IT should stand for Indian Talent" ( Good one .. ) gave them enough oppertunities to exercise their hands. Some of us thought that may be some people were paid to clap at every given oppertunity and the more you clap, the more you earn. Whatever it was, the noise was deafening at some points.
Back to friends after a long time, and we had enough time to catch up with the what's going on in their lives. I am having trouble, not naming people here .. so let me just use the following nicks - Person O ( working in Oracle ), person M ( doing MS ) and person V ( working in Verizon ..hey .. I am not V ). Ok as the story goes, O has found a certain Ms. W ( yeah .. you got it .. Wipro ), he says he is not senti about her, but he is'nt the not-senti type. I am pertty sure, he is in love which is pretty evident from his face everytime I talk about W. Mr. M has found a certain Ms. F ( F stands for doing MS in Unoversity of Florida ), and he is very senti about her. So senti that all he can talk about is F. Our conversation on Convo went like this ..
Me- Hi M
M - Hey khare .. wish me good luck man ..
ME - abe you are not graduating .. what do you need luck for
M - are not about graduating .. about F
Me- ok ok .. ohh yeah .. all the best
M - It feels great man .. to be in Love
Me - Yeah .. I know .. must feel great
M - I wish I was with her .. all the time
Me - Yeah ...I know .. must feel great
M - You know I love her Sooooooo much
Me - Yeah .. i know .. must feel great
M - I think I should continue my MS from Florida .. if I don't get through .. i don't know how I can live without her ..
Me - yeah .. i know ..Must feel great ..
M - What ?? what great .. I am sad .. she is leaving for Florida ..
Me - .. oohh ok ok .. yeah I know .. must feel sad ..
M - Yeah I am .. but I am happy for her .. she will do well there
Me - yeah I know .. must feel sad ..
M - What sad ?? Are you even listening ..
Me - Hey M .. V is calling .I got to go man .. will talk to u later ..
M - ok ok .. it's fine . but get in touch man ..
Me- .. Yeah .. sure .. ( and almost .. somehow .. these words fell out of my mouth ) yeah I know .. must feel sad ..
M left looking at me as though he was looking at F's future husband.

Aneway .. back to mainstream .. Mr. V has found someone in Chennai ( I did'nt know that because V is'nt living with us) . Let's call her Ms. C ( No idea what her name/location/age is . so C is Chennai ). Apparently C is total V-type, and those of you who know V would understand what that means ;)).

With all this I have come to a decisive conclusion. My Son's name has to start with R. If you are wondering why .. you need to know the real names of these O, M, and V .. which I can't disclose. But apparently, R Rocks. I wish I was Ruthkarsh .. :))

First salary + The Art of ordering Food

2005-07-30T20:35:00.000+05:30

first Salary
After having lived with the brick ( nokia's some crap model ) for 3 years .. I have upgraded myself. I now own a sony ericsoon ( would'nt erixon be easier to write ?? ) .. K230i. Sleek handset, sexy joystick control .. huge display screen .. camera 4x zoom ( uhmm .. zoom does'nt work with 640*480 resolution .. the shopkeeper just forgot to tell me that ) .. mp3 player .. sound recording .. video recording .. IR .. everything .. just one minor glitch .. not enough memory .. just 12MB .. enuf for now .. I could have gone for an LG set prized at 10.8k .. the only additional feature it had was the xtra memory .. and I really don't think I need that much memory. There are some other features .. but I have'nt gone into the manual yet .. actually I don't need one .. I have Arvind ..
Aneway .. since I purchased the cell .. the bike thing will have to wait another month now .. :(( .. may be with next salary .. wow .. I am Independent now.

The Art of Ordering Food ( Inspired by jaya's post on finding the house )
"Hello .. XYZ restraunt"
Me :: "Hello .. I wanted to order food .. home delivery"
Other End :: "yes sar .. "
Me :: "ok .. write down the order .. "
Other End :: "yes sar .. "
Me :: "1 Plate Punner Butter Masala .. "
Other End :: "yes sar .. "
Me :: "1 Plate Dal Fry .. "
Other End :: " Yes Sar "
Me :: " And 6 Tandoori Rotis .. "
Other End :: "Yes Sar .. "
Me :: " Yeah .. thatz it ... "
Other End :: "Sar .. address what .. sar .." ??
Me :: "Note down .. ES1 .. "
Other End :: " EF1 "
Me :: " no no .. it's ES1 .. E for elephant .. s for sexy .. "
Other End :: " sar .. "
Me :: "Race course View .. Shristi Apartments .. "
Other End :: "Ishti Apartment .."
Me :: " no no .. it's shrishti "
Other End :: " trishtia ?? "
Me :: "No no .. it's shrishti .. S H R I S H T I .. shrishti .. "
Other End :: " ok sar .. dhrishti apartments .. '
Me :: " are nahin yaar .. it's S H R I S H T I .. S for sexy .. S H R I S H T I .. shrishti "
Other End :: " ok saar .. SHRISHTI Apartment .. right sar ?? "
Me :: "Yes .. THANQ .. " ** fooh ** " Keep writing .. there is more "
Other End :: "Yes Sar ... "
Me :: " Main Velachery road, Guindy .. "
Other End :: " Yes Sar .. "
Me :: " yeah .. thatz it .. how long will it take to deliver"
Other End :: "Sar .. only 20 minutes sar . but Saar .. Order value saar .. very low saar .. more money order saar .. "
Me :: "I think I have ordered for over 150 .. right ?? "
Other End :: "Yes sar .. the bill is 160 Rs. Sar .. Atleast 200 for Home delivery Sar .. "
Me :: " But your home delivery menu says .. min amount shud be 75 .. ?? "
Other End :: "Sar .. that is only for Guindy saar .. "
Me :: "But we ARE in Guindy"
Other End :: "Sar . Velachery main Road Saar .. very far away Saar .. "
Me :: " But your restraunt is ON the Velachery Main Road .. "
** A 2 second pause ( possibly in rememberance of the deceased in london bomb blasts ) **
Other End :: "Ok sar .. we'll deliver saar .. only 20 minutes saar "
Me :: "thanq .. "
** Just as I am about to keep the phone down .. **
Other End :: "SAAR .. one minute saar .. saar .. delivery boy sar .. not know address .. tell him sar .. talk to him "
Me :: " ok .. fine .. give the phone to him "
** some other guy takes over .. this one sounds like he has been woken up just to deliver our food **
Other End :: " YES .. "
Me :: " Take down the address .. "
Other End :: " OK .. "
Me :: " it's flat number ES - 1"
Other End :: " EF - 1 .. ?? "
Me :: " Nooooooo . it's E S ONE .. E for Elephant .. S for sexy .. one for .. ??.. one .. number one ..okati ( thatz telugu/tamil for one )"
Other End :: "okkk .. "
Me :: "Race course shrishti apartment ... "
Other End :: "Dhrishti .. ?? "
Me :: " Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Other End :: " Saar .. ??? "
Me :: " nothing ... it's shrishti .. S .. shrishti .. as in nature .. shrishti ?? "
Other End :: " nature .. ?? "
Me :: "are teri .. $%^@#%&%^& "
Other End :: "sar .. ?? "
Me :: " nothing .. S H R I S H T I .. shrishti apartment "
Other End :: "ok saar .. same building sar .. near small temple sar .. ?? "
Me :: " YESSSS .. THANQ .. now can we please have the food "
Other End :: "yes sar .. we'll deliver sar .. only 40 minutes saar . "
Me :: " 40 minutes ?? i thought it was 20 minutes .. "
Other End :: "Sar .. far na sar .. will take time .. "
** Here there was a 2 second pause from my end. In rememberance of the terrorists who caused the London Bomb blasts **
Me :: " Ok Fine .. just bring in the food .. and plz add 2 more rotis "
** I was somehow more hungry now than I was earlier .. don't know why **

That's Lesson 1 on "The Art of ordering Food ".. keep visiting the blog for more

Lifez like this ..

2005-07-20T13:38:00.000+05:30

Ever thought of what you want from Life ?
The obvious answer is always succes, but the catch is the way you define success. Somedays back, I was wondering about this very question and the thoughts drifted to the evening in Shimla, when seven of us were discussing about our future dreams, our aspirations and whzt exactly we want to be in Life. If I remember right, I said I wanted to make lots of money, enough to own a resort in Goa.
Lately, I have been a bit disillusioned with the whole, money means everything in Life, thing. Is money everything ? I have asked that question to myself about a zillion times now and I keep getting different answers everytime. I may sound a bit confused, I AM confused. May be I am not very sure of what I want from Life. Parents, friends, relatives ..everyone keeps telling me, why don't you try for XYZ company .. has a better pay packet .. why don't you try for referrals .. you would get through. I am not really sure I want it. It's not just the money, it's the piece of mind that I crave. I know the work is going to be tough and I am just beginning to enjoy it. They are training us on .NET and the concepts which seemed like greek and Latin earlier and clearer now. I know as Comp Programmers and Developers we are expected to code day in and day out, to earn a hefty pay packet and have promotions every year and get to the rank of a PM .. and then what ??? Life ends there ???? or does it begin there .. Confused again ??
Ok .. think of it this way .. When in Life would you consider yourself successful? when you have earned enough money to fulfill all your material needs ( this was what my definition of success was ). Now, Somehow I feel that success can not be defined in monetory terms. It requires something more, something in the head. I think it's being happy about whatever you do. It canbe in any damm company, but as long as you are happy about it, no amount of money can replace it.
We went to the beach a few days back and the rest of the gang went ga ga over the edibles available there, I just sat there staring at the ocean. I think Jayaram once wrote about the insignificance of our lives and compared it to a drop int he ocean. I think the sea teaches us a LOT of things. I am not going to get into the philosophical details of what I felt that day. The reason I mentioned the visit was because, as I sat there, I saw a old couple, walking hand in hand. They did'nt look very rich, just rich enough to pay off the month's rent and buy food for the family on a daily basis. Yet, as they walked there, I sensed something I had always missed in sub urban couples. The feeling of togetherness, the feeling of belonging to each other, the feeling of Love. Now, THEY LOOKED HAPPY.

Office Office

2005-07-07T20:37:00.000+05:30

15 days into the training and i have realized the true purpose of such trainings. It is pretty much same as first few classes at college. Here too we have people from different backgrounds, some are ECE, some EEE and some IT majors and the proficiency with which they deal with computer related subjects varies. I believe, these classes are meant to bring everyone at same level. We, CSE B.Techs, are expected to be good at everything they are teaching and though some of what they teach appears stupid, the other classes are eye openers. Most of our energy in the classes is spent trying to keep our eyes open and rest is drained off in playing pinball and solitaire. But some others have found better ways to keep themselves awake, which means sending netsends to the whole workgroup which means the entire project team under training ( 34 people ). And with grls also trying their hands at the utility, some guys have more than one reason to spam our screens. Some of these guys ( the second variety ) happen to be seated pretty close to me and I can't miss noticing the expression on their face whenever they send the supposably "humorous" messages. I personally think they are trying too hard to impress the girls .. but whatever .. their life .. their keyboards .. but dammit .. my monitor.
Aneway .. the only good time of the day is the lunch hour. We used to get pretty good food when we used to go to mahabalipuram for training, but now since the training has shifted to Mylapore .. the food is'nt that good. But aneway, free food is always welcome. The coffee break is also ok ok, but Coffee with no snacks is like watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. without Chandler .. tasteless.
Most of the people in the project group are pretty talented. Most probably the assessment tomorrow will bring out the silent performer. As for me, I am least bothered about the test. Dont' know why, but now the tests are not scary to me .. may be college hangover. :D
Other than that, did'nt get to explore Chennai much since the last time I posted about it ..but from what I see .. it's pretty well planned .. lots of tree cover. But the problem here is the ugly traffic. It's a mix of the traffic I saw in Kanpur and Delhi. In Kanpur, on any 100 mt. stretch you are bound to bump into atleast 5 people and no apologies are expected and none given. In Delhi, If you come within 5 mts of even touching a car, while on a bike, the owner will jump out of his car and thrash you to hell. Here, You are bound to bump into 5 people and all 5 will atleast give you the look as if everything is your fault. Somehow the Autowalas here seem to be James Bond relatives .. they drive the autos like 007 drove his car. But ofcourse, every now and then ... even they too get the look.
Aneway .. It's about time I go back to home now . dinner must be ready ..
Chao

Green Tag .. Again

2005-06-22T23:10:00.000+05:30

Since I made mistakes the last time I posted about the green tag, I've been told to re-do it .. So I decided to get off my Ass and actually do it today .. nothing to do right now aneway .. and i am bored ..
5 things that I resolve to do now on .. for the sake of environment
1> Will avoid using vehicles whenever I can
2> Won't pluck leaves/flowers ( seriously ... It's about time I do that )
3> Will educate myself about alternative methods to avoid pollution.
4> Will tell people around me about the HUGE holes in Ozone Layer and it's ramifications.
5> MAKING SURE THAT I PASS THE TAG TO 3 MORE PEOPLE

so ... I pass the tag to Rocky, Maddy and Sri ( three of my most responsible friends ). You guys are supposed to come up with 5 things that would help the environment some way. It could be anything from as lazy as what I have written to as beautiful and thoughtful as what Archana has written.

Chennai .. Finally ..

2005-06-22T18:42:00.000+05:30

Never in my dreams had i hoped Chennai to be the way it is .. a friend told me sometime back that it's nice and I laughed .. but it is. I know most of my friends would laugh at this too .. but being here in Chennai, I find it be pretty much like Hyderabad, though a lot more humid. People here are equally helpful, but that's if you are able to get your doubts accross to them. And since we have Jayaram (who is learning Tamil faster than he ever learnt anything ) and Sreejith ( who, being a Mallu, knows a lot of Tamil ) with us, we have'nt faced many problems so far.
For the past 3 days here, I have met a large number of people, most of them are bright intelligent people from some of the better colleges in India. Though, we are not exactly friends now, but still, it's nice to know them.
The weather here has been better than expected and it has rained twice in the last three days. Though it's still humid, rains are always a relief. The places we have visited in Chennai so far are the shopping malls and movie halls ( that's other than the hotel where our induction takes place everyday from 9:30 to 5:00 ). Saw "Batman Begins" yesterday. It's nice, especially the subtle comic scenes. A must watch.
Other than that, Jaya and Arvind, went to see a house, a fully furnished one, that would cost around 12k .. but rejected it .. coz it was on top floor . with little ventilation. Jaya is heading the "house deciding committee" and Arvind is his Assistant. I doubt if they will every reach a decision, coz both have so varied mindsets when it comes to the factors they keep in mind, while deciding a house. While Jaya is more practical, Arvind is more "Dhinchak Dhinchak" ( jaya coined this .. ask him what it means ).
The induction programme started today, mainly dealt with finances and company policies etc. They got us an account in HDFC, which gives us many good offers. Can't get into details .. "CONFIDENTIAL" .. he he ..
Still .. among all this fun .. missing home .. missing Shivani .. missing my friends back in Hyderabad .. and missing the college life.

Green - Tag

2005-06-12T23:19:00.000+05:30

Oh Nooooooo ...
Smyts (Nice Blog btw .. love your template ) started a chain blog a few days ago and she tagged Archana and she tagged me .....this one's about environment....

Archana's fives that she'll try her best to follow for a better environment around her
1. No more non-degradable things in the place she live in....she'll minimize the use and finally try to stop it.
2. She confesses she waste a lot of resources - water and electricity included. she will feel the pinch now as she will start paying up bills....but thats no reason. she will try not to waste it anymore :)
3. Papers - she'll use the back of a sheet to work out math or anything. she will not run to Waterstone's to buy a workbook.
4. she cannot stand people who throw rubbish on the street. The next time she'll see someone doing it [specially someone she knows], she shall usher them into not doing it.
5. The front of the house they're going to move in is barren. They'll bring in as many plants possible.

My take
1. WHAT ????
2. I don't waste resources .. even though the electricity bill this time almost gave a heart attack to dad .. but IT WAS'NT MY FAULT
3. Papers .. ?? no more .. i switched to .txt and .doc long time back
4. that means I have to throw out almost every single person who I see on the street .. too much work .. I am tooooo lazy to do that .. sorry
5. I am not moving anywhere .. the place i live in is surrounded by lots of wild bushes and plants ... which .. btw .. i suspect .. have snakes in them

And as a revenge .. I tag
1. Jaya
2. Maddy
3. Rocky

Ha ha .. farewell gift dudes .. :D

Kya Kute The Hum ...

2005-06-12T22:52:00.000+05:30

Got these pics as a parting gift from a relative ... look gooood ..

Sick .. Yet again

2005-06-02T20:22:00.000+05:30

Got the word from the doc about this .. I am sick .. and it's bigger trouble this time ... apparently my haemoglobin count has gone down beyond acceptable limits which could be because of
1> Drugs ( My mom did'nt like the word much .. let's just call it medicines )
2> Too much Alcohol (My mom did'nt like that either .. but can't be a reason for me )
3> Some Crap I did'nt understand
4> Some more crap I did'nt understand ..

See .. only 2 out of 4 words rang the bell in my mind . so that's all i remember about the meeting with doc. My grandma has another explanation for my situation .. she thinks it's the result of "Buri Nazar" .. and I have had about 4-5 sessions of nazar utarna .. it's fun .. and now I am wearing a black thread because it's supposed to protect me from something

Aneway .. what I would remember about this past few days is ..
My mom crying at the mention of doc saying over the phone "it's soemthing serious .. you people better come to clinic .. let me check the boy"
Dad saying at doc's clinic "Beta .. could you please step out" .. to enquire how serious the situation is .. He did'nt want me to hear it ..

Aneway .. I am fine now .. a little tired though .. as is expected from a person with low globin count .. Should be fine in another 10 days.

Saw "A Walk to Remember" again today on HBO .. somethings just never change .. Love the movie .. love the songs ..

Sati ???

2005-05-25T11:44:00.000+05:30

I had long talks with Jayaram about how backward Gorakhpur is .. and I would always try to prove that it's not as bad as it sounds. But my own confidence was shaken today morning by a newspaper report about "sati" at a nearby place. I wish it was just a misrepresentation of facts .. but NOOO .. it was just as I had read about in the books .. A Lady was burnt alive, about 15 days back, because her husband had died. The Local Policemen here tried to make every possible effort that the reports don't get leaked to the press because that would mean that the law and order situation has deterioted (which is a joke in itself).
And it's not just Sati, apparently ( according to TOI report on 23rd May ), four kids - two girls and two boys were married to PUPPIES ( thankfully .. not in GOrakhpur ..but in remote Assam .. I think ) just to please GODS.
I had a HUGE discussion with my mom, just a week back, about uselessness of this POOJA and KATHAs and such similar things. I feel that these things serve little purpose beyond filling up the Pujari's pockets and tummy. We had one such Katha at home, on Monday .. and sitting through it .. I realized that we have been doing nothing but listening to some Age old story about people and events whose aunthencity I really doubt. And at the end of it all .. We ( along with all those present ) were expected to pay a hefty "Dakshina" to the Pujari .. If it was not for my grand-ma who keeps silencing me time and again with senti details about God and stuff .. I would have had the same discussion with the Pujari.
By the way .. With what I wrote above, I do not question or even wish to question .. the existence or non existence of God .. I just hate the way the Pujaris and Sadhus and Pandits .. use religion to fulfill their purpose ..

Saas , Bahu and Sarees and WI - SA Series ..

2005-05-18T11:39:00.000+05:30

I often wondered whether the soaps that we see these days are even close to what we have in real life.But my questions were answered on 15th of May. I was all alone at home and the door bell rang. I opened the door to see a gorgeous 20 - something standing outside. She looked like a character from The Saas Bahu Kahani serials which means, A Loud Saree and fitting jewellery and HEAVY makeup. I always thought that the prettiest thing I had ever seen was the Kareeena Kapoor Poster, but this was different .. this was Life like .. this was more "touchable". She handed me something, no idea what and asked about mom and dad. Usually, it rarely happens that pretty girls look at me .. forget about talking and I was as dumbstruck as I could be. The only words I remember were "Uncle .. Aunty .. Marrige .." and something about 20th of May. I think the words I uttered were "No .. yes .. No .yes .. Ahhh " and as she left "OH MY GOD" ( I distinctly remember this one .. coz I thought I said it loud enough for her to hear ). Aneway .. when she left .. I came to know that she lives in my colony ( I had never seen her before ) and had come to deliver her younger sister's marrige card. Then it hit me .. Ohh no ..she is married. Chha .. Useless me. Aneway .. as my mind wondered into the reason behind her getup .. I understood how much the soaps have inspired the "modern" Bahu.
Aneway .. The other "interesting" thing on TV these days was the SA - WI series .. where SA took the series 5-0. I wonder if any other outcome was expected. The WI fans seemed to be disappointed. I expected them to win atleast one of the matches ( The Hat-trick one ) .. but then .. stupid idiots could'nt even make 2 runs in 6 balls ans lost 3 wickets all the same. The are probably the worst team in the arena right now other than Bangladesh. Other than a few patches of performances here nad there from Gayle and Lara, they really have'nt done anything substantial this season. The dead rubber matches were so boring to watch that most of the times I had to switch to something else which was less predictable.
And that's where Saas Bahu came in ..totally unpredictable .. Nothing governs the show .. No logic ..no sense .. the tragedies seem like comedies and comedies seem like tragidies .. And pretty girls dressed up like 50 year olds while the young ones look to be modelling for some jewellery shop or may be the Saree shop. One thing that Miss Kapoor has succesfully done is .. she has made sure that the males are as often humiliated, and shown as time pass props, as possible. This seems to have impressed the ladies in each and every house in India .. Good formula .. works perfectly.

What am I doing these days .. ??

2005-05-07T11:48:00.000+05:30

Been a really long time since I posted something here .. And knowing my love for the blogs I find it a little strange that I have been able to keep myself away from the blogs for so long. But things have their limits and " I must Blog " because I love blogging.

Ok, It has been a long time and I have been through a lot of things since the last time I posted. I left college, for one. Was tough, leaving behind so many people whom I knew I would never see for the rest of my life. People like Abhinav, Kunal, Vidit, Sunny would, who had been my close friends all through the four years .. and I would not get to see their faces frequently again ( Yippie !!! ) .. Aneway .. we would stay in touch through mails and blogs ( ?? ) .. Kunal has been updating his blog pretty frequenly .. so has jaya and sunny .. so I get to know about them and what has been going on in their lives. Too senti .. well that was a phase that lasted for about 5 days .. and I guess I am over it now ( Think so .. )

The next thing that happened was the stupid train journey from Hyderabad to Gorakhpur. The journey till Bhopal was fine .. I and Poppy had confirmed tickets and We slept for most of the time .. except for the time when the "Guruji" sitting next to us decided to "educate" us .. Poppy left early .. he has his limits and can't take it beyond a point .. but I had no berth to escape to and "guruji" was using mine to deliver his discourse. Aneway ... he went on and on and on and on .. about "hindutva" and "hinduism"( sounds familiar ?? ) .. and then about gujrat and Andhra and then about UP .. and then about the "Brahmin" caste as such .. for the purpose of National Integrity I would not delve into the details of his discourse .. but after a point I actually had to ask him to "SHUT UP" .. he was getting far too vocal and aggresive against a particular community and I hate it when people target a particular community just to gain audience .. Aneway .. things ended then and guruji was silent for most of the remaining journey except a few mumblings here and there. The journey after Bhopal was far less entertaining because I and Poppy weere seated next to a Family with four small childred .. Was 14 hours of HELL .. Aneway .. Got down at the station at 1:00 AM but that was not before Poppy had lost his Shoes at Kanpur station.

After the train journey things were good .. I was at home .. things were being cooked .. schedules were being altered .. relatives were coming over to the house .. "especially for me" .. but that too ended .. and mom announced one fine day that we had to go over to Lucknow for my second cousin's marrige .. I hate attending marriges .. basically because there are so many elders over there .. and all of them shower tooooo much of the "eldrely love" .. Every time they see me .. they feel it's their birth right to feed me .. to enquire about my studies .. my job prospects .. and now they found a NEW topic .. my Marrige .. the kind of Girl I would be interested in .. I was in no mood to oblige to all this .. but I had little choice .. and since not many of my cousins could make it to the function except two two-year olds .. I was the sole target of all the pampering .. And what's more .. there were so many people over there at the marrige whom I did'nt know .. mom told me later that they were from my cousin's mother's side ( I was from my cousin's father's side .. excuse me here .. but I am a little weak in relations ) .. At various points during the three days I was there .. I was asked my opinion about girls from that family ( which I absolutely hated ) .. and then at a point I was pushed into a room filled with grls so that I could "get to know them better" as per my Taiji .. those of you who know me well enough would understand my situation at being pushed into the room .. it was'nt just a room .. it was a room filled with grls .. girls who were giggling and ... laughing .. and looking at me as though I am a freshman and they were seniors .. aneway .. one of them was nice enough to introduce me to the rest of them .. and as I got to know them better .. I really started liking them .. they were fun people .. but eventually the worst happened .. my Bua told me that she will talk to dad about one of the grls in the group .. and then the nervousness began to set in .. and that was it .. I stayed away from the group for the rest of the function and told my bua that she was too young for either Bhaiya or me .. ( nice excuse .. is'nt it ) .. Strangely .. Bua seemed to appreciate my concern for Bhaiya .. and said " Ohh yeah .. we have to look for some girl for Paritosh too " .. That was it .. no more marrige talk .. Yippie !!

After the function I went with Mom as she wanted to visit this Future teller ( she has enormous faith in these guys ) with dad and he told her that I have a girl in my life and I would opt for love marrige over arranged marrige .. and some related stuff .. To my surprise she seemed to be considering the option seriously .. I thanked Panditji as I was leaving and he had no idea why I was doing that .. Aneway dad knows about Shivani and I would tell mom as soon as it's required .. I want to be soemthing substantial in Life before I can ask for such a big favour from family.

After the function there has been a lull in the activities at home ... Nothing much to do here .. Except eat, watch TV and sleep .. and I have been doing all three of them quite religiouly .. Strangely I have made a habit to get up early here .. that's 8:00 AM by my body clock and my mom still says that I am always late in getting up .. I don't really want to tell her my schedule at college :D .. Aneway .. it's lunch time at home .. and if I don't report back in 5 minz my mom will Kill me .. Time to go ..

why do I always have to end blogs like emails ??

The Message

2005-04-13T19:01:00.000+05:30

Got the link from Thiyagrajan's blog .. it's awesome .. posted about it on Batch Blog .. and now on my own blog too .. The end message differs . and it's nice ..

Check it out . The ad

The "Story" So Far -> SN Brussels approached me with a request to feature me in their ad films. They thought that since I have such a huge brand value, they could use it to advertise themselves. I accepted, but on the condition that the ad should feature both me and Shivani.
Since they were in Brussels and we were in India and I don't have a passport, We came to an aggreement that even if they feature our names in the ad, it's enough. They were nice enough to allow me post a message at the end of it.

Wow .. I am getting good at making up crap stories .. ha ha ..

Wht the Hell is wrong with me ??

2005-04-11T20:09:00.000+05:30

Jaya was probably perfectly right when he said that I am prone to outbursts. I knew that too. How do I control myself. I just wrote something on his blog that can be termed as nothing but an outburst. Hmm .. is'nt sooo bad. But I just did'nt like the way he had put to words his feelings about "parting". Aneway those are his feelings and I should'nt really be commenting about it.

Feel awfull .. don't know why ..

The Last exam ... + The long lost friend + Google ROX

2005-04-08T16:32:00.000+05:30

Examination -> Technically the examinations are over .. Only the Bioinformatics lab test is left .. I am in no mood to study for that .. so I said "Technically" .. and also "practially" the examinations are over .. Today's Exam was my attempt to fill the 12 pages of Answer script with no sense words. I tried hard for about 8 pages but by then .. I was soo tired that I gave up. I had finished one question .. out of the two and the other one ( though on my favourite topic ), required too much writing for me to even think about it. Gandhi and Savarkar are a thingof the past and writing about them now, in every STS examination has become a boredom. Rahgu already knows what our thoughts are on them ( same question last mid sem ), why doesn't he just grade us at those answer. Aneway .. I tried for 2 pages .. but gave up after that. Others just went on and on and on. I wonder how much energy they have. Aneway I filled 8 pages .. that should get me a A- ..
Aneway I am not looking for a grade here .. I am looking to pass .. and you can't fail in STS .. that is one thing I know for sure.
Aneway .. this was the last time I was writing in a IIIT - Hyderabad answer script. It's about time this happened .. I am NOT nostaligic about the scripts now .. Never had any close relation with them aneway .. it's just that this was the last examination and the technically, we are done. Done with college life.

Friend -> she gave me her scrap book yesterday at night. The plan was actually to go for a walk .. but she cancelled it .. saying that since I have an exam .. I should be studying .. hmm .. been three and a half years and still does'nt know me well enough :D .. She is leaving tomorrow evening .. I have no idea what I should be writing in the book .. people have gone on for pages about how they feel about her .. but me .. I seriously am at a loss of words when it comes to her .. I don't want it to seem like that I dont' feel anything for her .. and at the same time I don't know what I should write .. This kind of thing rarely happens to me .. normally I always know how I feel about a specific individual .. but she is different .. I want to tell her to be less outspoken, more trusting and more feminine .. but .. I can't blame her for being outspoken .. I am outspoken .. I can't advice her to be more trusting .. I don't trust people easily myself .. I can't ask her to be forgiving .. I don't forgive easily ... She is sooo much like me .. Probably what I can ask her to do is to try to be "un-like" me .. that would help her .. and also may be she can try to be a bit more feminine .. she is like the Jeon Ji-hyun in "My Sassy Girl" ( Rakesh reminded me of the similarities ) .. only if I could write something ..

Google -> I have finally been able to convince Google that I am important enough a personality and a brand name in myself. I had a record breaking 70 billion dollar deal with them .. they apologized for their mistake and said that from now on .. every query for "utkarsh khare" would feature my blog/homepage as the first link .. I know you won't believe me .. so try it yourself
Click here for the search Hence forth .. they have promised that any instance of a search string containg "utkarsh khare" ..not returning my blog/homepage ..would be compensated with 20 billion dolars each time. So If you come across any such occurence .. kindly be nice enough to send me the screenshot and the query string .. your efforts shall be monetarily compensated ... Thank You ..

I See You ...

2005-04-08T02:01:00.000+05:30

Interestingly the Author's name is also Utkarsh ( Utkarsh Ayachit )
A Nice poem ..

I see her in the bejeweled face,
I see her in her coy grace
I see her as her sarees fly -
The charm of a river flowing by!
I see her in the languid days,
I see her but not all her face!

I hear her in the melodies lame
In ragas of magic, in fountains of fame!
I hear her feet dancing the beat of rain
The monsoon drums, the summer pain!
I see her in her feisty ways
I see her but not all her face!

I smell her in the gardens of love,
In the springs of trust, in myths of home!
I smell her in the drains of hate
In gutters of betrayal, in filth of fate!
I see her in her silver grace
I see her but not all her face!

I see her in every attempt to hide her!
I see her in every effort to chide her!
I see her in every curse to guide her!
But I dont see her allonly a scanty trace!

What I miss is the pagan devotee!
What I miss is his faith, his God!
What I miss is the essence of his being!
What I miss is what ages have taught!

What I miss is the knowledge of the true!
What I miss is the soul of the new!
What I miss is that glory, that God!
How can I ever miss that its me!

Odd!

Farewell - 05

2005-03-31T12:45:00.000+05:30

It's all done with. Only the formality of examinations remain. No more classes. No more attendance. No more Professors. No more College. We are about to step in to the REAL world now. In some ways, this is supposed to be a good thing. I mean, this is what we have been waiting for ever since we first came across a computer. This is what we were groomed for, for four years. And now, as we are about to do what we always wanted to, we feel confident, we feel happy.
but If this is such a good thing, why do I feel that I am going to miss something. I didn't feel a thing when I left school, may be because I always knew that I am going to be in touch with school friends through some way or the other. But this time, it's different. Even though I know, that we are going to be in touch, it's not going to be the same. No more of the over night BC sessions, no more bunking classes to play Games, no more of the BOYish stuff. We are expected to be MEN now, people who have responsibilities. In some ways, this transition from BOYS to MEN isn't as natural as I had expected. I mean today I am, just a student, protected from the world, over pampered by my parents, looked after by sooo many people .. and just three months later I will be expected to be the person who looks after others. It's kind of like what Ross said when he realized that he is going to be a father " I always knew that I am going to have a baby ... I just didn't realize that the baby is going to have me " .. Always thought that was funny .. unless it hit me . this is ME ... this is US .. we have to grow up and live up to the expectations of our parents and college and everyone around us.
The Farewell party last night was FUN. The juniors had planned it really well and hats off to them for putting up the wonderful show. The "draupadi swayambar" was really great ... as was the award distribution ceremony to our batch mates. The categories being .. "Beat tutor" .. "Best male couple" .. "Most handsome guy" .. "Most beautiful girl" .. "Miss Male" .. "Best Ragger" .. etc etc etc .. was good .. I got nominated in "Best male couple" ( ha ha ) with Roxy .. And really I was out of place there . I mean .. Roxy and Bansi have been a couple for as long as I can remember. They spend nights "talking" to each other .. they spend "quality time" with each other at restraunts .. they even don't mind "sleeping" on each other's beds .. ( tooo much information ??? ) .. It's Okkkk ..But .. WHY GOD .. WHY ME ?? .. Thankfully we didn't win .. would have been even more embarrassing.
Last night, the best part was the speeches, Adi's was senti .. Imran's was hilarious .. Dean's was awesome .. PJN's was mesmerising .. And the starting words from Khurana reminded me of the time we used to put in so much thoughts into sending the mails to the students about Amalgam and Felicity. It really did pay off. And the words from PJN "Thanx for proving us wrong about your capabilities" .. really made us feel happy .. The formal part of the ceremony was mostly blurry as we kept shouting on the top of our voices. Except during the speeches. Mallik had the guts to sing again. Piyush was as great as ever. He has become like Sachin. Great things are always expected of him. And he has never let us down. Whenver he has taken the mike in his hand he has given us memorable performances. I remember the "Aee mere vatan ke logon" during Felicity distinctly because that was the time I realized what a great singer he is. I even remember him singing during the failed Rock band performance during our first year. That was great too. The Rock band, that had come with all the preparations, didn't perform because of sound adjustment problems. Piyush took the mike in his hands and mesmerised us all with "Some guys have all the luck". That really was one hell of a performance. Other than the usual stuff, the candle lighting ceremony was fun. Dean just kept pointing out something or the other about almost everyone. Showering praises at deserving students and pulling some people's legs. The function was fun and we enjoyed it to the maxim.
After that, the group photograph sessions followed. We had snaps taken with almost all our friends. I had the greatest urge yesterday to make up with a couple of people with whom I have had a fight during the past four years and some with whom I am still not on talking terms. But just couldn't make it. Rakesh's words "Some things that started here in college should better be left behind in college and once we graduate we should stay together as a batch with no unhappy memories" kept ringing in my ears. I will do it .. Definitely .. enough is enough .. I am just looking for the right moment ..:D ..
Parivesh asked me mid way through the formal part of the ceremony "Ro raha hai kya ??" and I replied with misty eyes " nahin.. rounga kyun ?? ". He knew . I knew .. everyone knew .. this is it .. the end of college life and the beginning of Professional Life. Boys to Men .. Are we ready to face the world .. ohh hell YEAH ..

What Now ...

2005-03-29T03:38:00.000+05:30

We had the demonstration for our Final year project yesterday noon and it went well. Now I feel like I have absolutely nothing to do. It's like all of a sudden I have realized, that I have come to the end of my academic life, and I know that a lot of you would be pointing out "Learning never ends" and blah blah blah .. but what I was talking about was the "Class room studies". All of a sudden I feel there is absolutely nothing left to do except prepare for the exams, appear for the same, and then go home. That's it .. "The End" of College Life. No more CS, no more Age, no more night outs to study for the exam next day, no more night outs to just talk to friends .. I wonder what is life going to be like without all these, because so far, these very things HAD been my life.
Once I enter professional life, most of the time I would be busy with the office work and I don't think I would get much time to catch up with my friends here in college. Some of my lucky friends are staying back in Hyderabad, while I would be off to Chennai. My friends in hyderabad have already made up plans as to where they will stay and stuff like that. I regret that I won't be able to live with them. The worst part of all of it is, I have absolutely no idea who am I going to stay with at Chennai. A couple of people I like would be joining me in Chennai, and I hope that things are not going to be that tough. Aneway, thatz not for another 3 months .. So I still have lots of time to worry about that.
Right now there are more pressing issues that need to be addressed, like .. how to utilize my remaining few days in Hyderabad in a better way. I am already bored with this Batch Politics thing and doing stuff for the batch seems stupid now. For everything a person tries to do, there would be atleast five others who would be objecting to the purpose of that activity. And at the end, people here have made a habit of taking everything lightly and ending it with the over used "It's OKkkkk ". Really friends, it used to be funny at first, now it's more of an excuse for the pathetic bunch that we are. I have lost the will to do anything for the batch as such. Even when I attend the meetings, I don't see the enthusiasm that used to be there a couple of years back. Probably my other friends ( Rakesh, Vidit, Sandeep and Pradeep ) are more optimistic in this regard. But I don't see any point in the kind of activitites we are trying to come up with. Nothing works for us. However hard we try, at the end of it all .. it's not going to make a difference to the thinking of our batchmates. I don't want to blame others for this. Even I am this way. Afterall, the presumptions and feelings I have about my batchmates ( individually ) have been built over a period of 3 years and 10 months. I don't see anything changing them. So, why try for this "Batch Bonding" thing. Whom are we trying to Fool ?? At the end of the day, I know that I would never trust person A, and person Z would always remain my closest friend. What difference do the batch meetings make ??
Tomorrow there is going to be a Class meeting. I wonder how may would show up for that. Someone came up with the idea of inviting Prof. Govindrajulu or Prof. Jawahar for the class, to just ask them about how to go about living life in Professional Arena and such stuff ( better phrasing of the sentence needed ), but people even have problem with that. I mean, what harm can possibly come out of listening to an old man with more than 30 years of experience talk about the philosophy of life. If anything, it's only going to help us. Someone suggested that we give up the Farewell Dinner Fund to the Alumni Fund to be used as Scholarship fund. People have problems with that too. How important is that one day of dinner to people ?? We cant' just let it go even when we know that it's going to be used for a needy person's Tution Fee. Someone came up with the idea of a Batch fund or a gdit2k1 fund, where students from our batch can donate some money out of the caution fee ( that would be reimbursed in June I guess ) which can be used for Scholarships for future batches. So far, the response to this has varied from outright rejection to moderate approval. I wonder what could be the response to this point in tomorrow's meeting.
I am trying to keep my mind off these things and just help in whatever way possible int his "batch unity" thing. Tomorrow, duing the class meet, me, Vidit and Rakesh are planning on a special surprise. It's supposed to be a comic 20 - 25 minute thing where we have plans to .... ok ok . It's a surprise.
I am planning on doing a few things before I finally leave Hyderabad. One of them is to meet a few of my friends here whom I have'nt met for a long time. The list is long, but to mention a few .. Vinay ( he is a busy man .. I am sure he won't complain ), Pranita ( well .. she just might kill me ), Kalyani, and if possible I should also visit Shakeel Uncle ( omg .. I doubt if they will recognize me now ), and Aseem's relatives whom I dined with .. twice ( I am such an ungrateful A$$ ).
Aneway it's 4:15 in the morning and I am hungry. The tea shop opens at 5:30. No idea if I'll be able to hold the fort that long.

Stupid stupid stupid ..

2005-03-26T00:26:00.000+05:30

After an amazing talk with a friend just one night before, I had a BIIIG fight with another friend today. Actually it wasn't as much of a fight, as a difference of opinion. He supports one group of people, and I BELONG to the other. And both can not co-exist. Can't help it. I always knew that the day we discuss it, we would have a biig fight, but thanx to maddy it didn't go as bad as I had thought initially. Anyway, at the end of it all, we are still friends and that's more important. I don't value anything more than friendship ( other than .. hmm .. a couple other things . ha ha ) and as long as we have discussions that end the way it did today, it's all ok. Sorry If I said anything that hurt.
hmm .. other than that .. we seem to be busy discussing politics a lot. And not national or international politics, I am talking about Batch Politics. I better not say much, I am told I make too many inflammatory remarks. Last time I wrote a BIIG post and deleted it, because maddy told me that it was tooo rude and with 15 days to go, I shouldn't be doing stuff like this. Anyway, I hope atleast the person whom I wrote it for, read it, before I deleted it ( yeah .. that is me .. EVIL EVIL ).
Council Elections are coming up in a few days, and I am seeing pretty much a repeat of what happened last year. And things, same as last year, have boiled over to Placements too. Juniors are having a tough time figuring out who should be their Placement Secretary. And Paddy says, that she doesn't want a PS ( interesting .. Isn't it ?? .. I wonder who would be attending all her 2 hour phone calls .. who would be running after her all the time to call more companies .. who would be following her all the time saying "Yes maam .. yess maam .. of course maam .. definately maam" ). I hope our juniors would understand how important a good Placement Secretary is, and would push a responsible person to do this. I am told that there is just too much infighting in their batch to come to a consensus .. but something has to be worked out, otherwise they are going to have a very difficult time during their placements.
During the Elections last year there were reports of a large number of incidents where some improper means was used to gain support and win votes. Apparently juniors (1st years ) were told that if they vote for person XYZ they would be given before hand information about Surprise Quizzes and such stuff. Another point, some people even reported that the candidate XYZ was telling northies that is he was elected he would make life better for north Indians. I have been living in this college for 4 years and I don't see any part of college life which can be made any better. And why only north Indians, Why keep south Indians out .. ?? If there is betterment of life ( if at all ) .. shouldn't it be same for north and south Indians. I wonder what were his crooked ideas. I supported candidate ABC all through the elections and didn't feel the need for any other form of campaigning other than the one during the all batch meet where each candidate was supposed to present his agenda. But some other people ( read XYZ ) had been campaigning ( read .. whatever I wrote above ) for long before the agenda day and that went on till one day before the elections. As expected, XYZ won and we were thoroughly disappointed.
I am not sure, what XYZ did after winning the elections, because I kind of lost interest in all cultural activities after he won, mainly because I lost faith in the election process. So I don't know whether he was a good cultural secretary or a bad one, but he lost all my respect the day I came to know, how he had been campaigning.
Anyway, it's a thing of the past, and I don't see any reason why I should even bother myself thinking about him. The college is doomed and would continue the downwards path until the day the "Free for all elections" rule is removed. I think that Faculty should screen the candidates, and also, if possible monitor the campaigning ( same as it was, before WE came up with the thought of , elections for,by the students ).
On a lighter note, I broke a GIRL's headphones today. It wasn't my mistake. It just happened. She wasn't on her desk and I took her headphones to play Counter Strike. Just as I plugged them in, she came back and I returned it to her. After 5 seconds she came back saying that the pin is missing and I turned my head 30 degree NW to see the damn pin still attached to the headphone socket. I said sorry, but unfortunately the headphone was totally screwed up. We couldn't fix it ( I tried, Vidit tried, Ranta tried ) however hard we tried. I put in all my engineering skills and Vidit at one point suggested that If I try too hard the headphone may work for 5 minutes and then there would be a short circuit. Imagine the girl listening to the music, happily, and then the stupid short circuit. I am going to take it to IN tomorrow to see if I can get it fixed. Rocky says "Chennai chala ja .. Vahan se usko parcel kar ke naya bhej dena "
Another thing, I wrote the mail to " palaniappan.x.subramanian 'at' verizon.com " for my offer letter. I didn't take a Xerox of the letter than was sent to us and now I don't have any doc to take to Chennai that can prove that I was actually selected. Hope some thing works out there.
Life is, otherwise cool .. hey . .. btw .. Happy Holi to all of you .. have a nice time .. and stay away from booze and drugs .. it's bad .. :D ..

Nice story

2005-03-23T22:15:00.000+05:30

Found this on Rakesh's Blog .. Loved it ..

An eight-year-old child heard her parents talking about her little
brother. All she knew was that he was very sick and they had no money
left. They were moving to a smaller house because they could not afford
to stay in the present house after paying the doctor's bills. Only a
very costly surgery could save him now and there was no one to loan them
the money.

When she heard daddy say to her tearful mother with whispered
desperation, 'Only a miracle can save him now', the child went to her
bedroom and pulled a glass jar from its hiding place in the closet.

She poured all the change out on the floor and counted it carefully.

Clutching the precious jar tightly, she slipped out the back door and
made her way six blocks to the local drug Store. She took a quarter from
her jar and placed it on the glass counter.

"And what do you want?" asked the pharmacist. "It's for my little
brother," the girl answered back. "He's really, really sick and I want
to buy a miracle."

"I beg your pardon?" said the pharmacist.

"His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and
my daddy says only a miracle can save him. So how much does a miracle
cost?"

"We don't sell miracles here, child. I'm sorry," the pharmacist said,
smiling sadly at the little girl.

"Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I can try
and get some more. Just tell me how much it costs."
In the shop was a well-dressed customer. He stooped down and asked the
little girl, "What kind of a miracle does you brother need?"

"I don't know," she replied with her eyes welling up. "He's really sick
and mommy says he needs an operation. But my daddy can't pay for it, so
I have brought my savings".
"How much do you have?" asked the man. "One dollar and eleven cents, but
I can try and get some more", she answered barely audibly.
"Well, what a coincidence," smiled the man. "A dollar and eleven cents
-- the exact price of a miracle for little brothers."
He took her money in one hand and held her hand with the other. He said,
"Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your
parents. Let's see if I have the kind of miracle you need."

That well-dressed man was Dr Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing
in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed without charge and it
wasn't long before Andrew was home again and doing well.

"That surgery," her mom whispered, "was a real miracle. I wonder how
much it would have cost?"

The little girl smiled. She knew exactly how much the miracle cost ...
one dollar and eleven cents ... plus the faith of a little child.

The highwayman

2005-03-20T02:57:00.000+05:30

I read this poem back in highschool ( If I am right ). Heard it today again. It's a nice reading.

Part One

The wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
The road was a ribbon of moonlight, over the purple moor,
And the highwayman came riding
Riding-riding-
The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn-door.

He'd a French cocked-hat on his forehead, a bunch of lace at his chin,
A coat of the claret velvet, and breeches of brown doe-skin;
They fitted with never a wrinkle: his boots were up to the thigh!
And he rode with a jewelled twinkle,
His pistol butts a-twinkle,
His rapier hilt a-twinkle, under the jewelled sky.

Over the cobbles he clattered and clashed in the dark inn-yard,
And he tapped with his whip on the shutters, but all was locked and barred;
He whistled a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord's daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

And dark in the old inn-yard a stable-wicket creaked
Where Tim the ostler listened; his face was white and peaked;
His eyes were hollows of madness, his hair like mouldy hay,
But he loved the landlord's daughter,
The landlord's red-lipped daughter,
Dumb as a dog he listened, and he heard the robber say -

"One kiss, my bonny sweetheart, I'm after a prize to-night,
But I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light;
Yet, if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day,
Then look for me by moonlight,
Watch for me by moonlight,
I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way."

He rose upright in the stirrups; he scarce could reach her hand,
But she loosened her hair i' the casement! His face burnt like a brand
As the black cascade of perfume came tumbling over his breast;
And he kissed its waves in the moonlight,
(Oh, sweet black waves in the moonlight!)
Then he tugged at his rein in the moonlight, and galloped away to the West.

Part Two

I

He did not come in the dawning; he did not come at noon;
And out o' the tawny sunset, before the rise o' the moon,
When the road was a gypsy's ribbon, looping the purple moor,
A red-coat troop came marching-
Marching-marching-
King George's men came marching, up to the old inn-door.

II

They said no word to the landlord, they drank his ale instead,
But they gagged his daughter and bound her to the foot of her narrow bed;
Two of them knelt at her casement, with muskets at their side!
There was death at every window;
And hell at one dark window;
For Bess could see, through the casement, the road that he would ride.

III

They had tied her up to attention, with many a sniggering jest;
They bound a musket beside her, with the barrel beneath her breast!
"Now keep good watch!" and they kissed her.
She heard the dead man say-
Look for me by moonlight;
Watch for me by moonlight;
I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way!

IV

She twisted her hands behind her; but all the knots held good!
She writhed her hands till here fingers were wet with sweat or blood!
They stretched and strained in the darkness, and the hours crawled by like years,
Till, now, on the stroke of midnight,
Cold, on the stroke of midnight,
The tip of one figure touched it! The trigger at least was hers!

V

The tip of one finger touched it; she strove no more for the rest!
Up, she stood up to attention, with the barrel beneath her breast,
She would not risk their hearing; she would not strive again;
For the road lay bare in the moonlight;
Blank and bare in the moonlight;
And the blood of her veins in the moonlight throbbed to her love's refrain

VI

Tlot-tlot; tlot-tlot! Had they heard it? The horse-hoofs ringing clear;
Tlot-tlot, tlot-tlot, in the distance? Were they deaf that they did not hear?
Down the ribbon of moonlight, over the brow of the hill,
The highwayman came riding,
Riding, riding!
The red-coats looked to their priming! She stood up strait and still!

VII

Tlot-tlot, in the frosty silence! Tlot-tlot, in the echoing night
Nearer he came and nearer! Her face was like a light!
Her eyes grew wide for a moment; she drew one last deep breath,
Then her finger moved in the moonlight,
Her musket shattered the moonlight,
Shattered her breast in the moonlight and warned him-with her death.

VIII
He turned; he spurred to the West; he did not know who stood
Bowed, with her head o'er the musket, drenched with her own red blood!
Not till the dawn he heard it, his face grew grey to hear
How Bess, the landlord's daughter,
The landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Had watched for her love in the moonlight, and died in the darkness there.

IX

Back, he spurred like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky,
With the white road smoking behind him and his rapier brandished high!
Blood-red were his spurs i' the golden noon; wine-red was his velvet coat,
When they shot him down on the highway,
Down like a dog on the highway,
And he lay in his blood on the highway, with a bunch of lace at his throat.

X

And still of a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,
When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
A highwayman comes riding-
Riding-riding-
A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn-door.

XI

Over the cobbles he clatters and clangs in the dark inn-yard,
And he taps with his whip on the shutters, but all is locked and barred;
He whistles a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord's daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

Losing .. 6 years back and Now !!

2005-03-19T17:55:00.000+05:30

I know it's not a big deal, it was JUST a game, but what was the worst thing about the game yesterday was how easily it brought back my worst memories from six years back. Everything seems to be following the same route, Every incident that happened back then happened again yesterday, and to be totally honest, the freakish coincidence is that the words used back then and NOW are the same, though the sets of lips have changed.
I know for sure that what I said above does'nt make much sense to you, because many of you were not there with me 6 years ago, and those of you who were are not here with me now.
Flashback -> Let me take you 10 years back, I was selected for house cricket team for the first time. I can't tell you how happy I was then. It was rather uncommon for 9th standard students to be selected in the team unless they were pretty good although I did'nt get a look in, because of the 13 selected only 9 were supposed to play and the question of me playing was totally out of question as I was the youngest. Those were the days when House brothers mattered more than blood relations. I watched and watched with total amazement, as my elder brother took apart the my house's bowlers. It was a hard decision to make.At one side was my brother and at the other was my house, the house I was representing. He had totally smothered the bowlers, yet our batsmen had done enough to pose worries for the final few overs. I watched as my brother went to take the a drink break and finished a glucose pack in one go. Still 4 overs to go and 30 runs to get. He had batted for the most of the innings with the kind of gut and determination and flamboyance that we associate with Sachin ( Ok I know I am drawing huge comparisons, but believe me that day he did seem like a Sachin Avatar ). I watched as he hit our best bowler for 3 boundaries in row and then again in the final over, with 3 runs to get on the last bowl, I watched him dance down the track, as he struck a delightful flick to the square leg boundry for a four. I watched and I watched with awe the kind of jubilation that triggered. He was all over the place, people was carrying him over their shoulders and I had never seen him happier. He got the best cricketer award that year, something that was considered more "cool" than getting the "best student" award in his batch.
All through my cricket years ( 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th ) .. I tried to emulate him, with little success. The reason was'nt that I was not GOOD, it was just that our bowlers were just too good for the opponents to make life troublesome for us batsmen. WE always won. Winning the matches in Tenth and Eleventh was like a walk in the park. We always won. But then Twelfth happened. We were the firm favorites. But the final match opponents had given tough competition to us in one of the practice games, and I as team captain tried to maintain the team moral by saying that it was a fluke and we can easily beat them. But believe me, somewhere deep within my heart I thought that if anyone can beat us, it would be these people. I remembered my brother's efforts in his last game. The day had won him accolades and the possible reason for my inclusion in future teams was because I was Paritosh's younger brother. I was scared that I won't be able to live up to the expectations of emulating my brother. More than that I was scared that this was going to be my last game in school, the last official cricket match I ever play, the last day I could be captain be a winning team. ( you may want to compare these words with what I wrote yesterday before the match with Raskullz ). I was so nervous before the match that my team mates had to actually push me to open the innings ( I was the innings opener, and I was known to be always ready for facing the opponent's best fast bowler ). I was so scared that day that the first ball I faced almost took an edge. I survived but then slowly began to loose hope. The match was lost to me even before it had begun. We were chasing 85 in 15 overs. I held one end of the innings together while I watched my partners change. The best partnership I had was with the number 8. I made a couple of bad calls that resulted in two run outs and then even while playing, I could'nt take my eyes off Shivani who was sitting just outside the boundary ropes. I missed so many shots and so many bad balls went unpunished that I hated myself after the game. But then, even though we lost, a lot of people came up to me and said "Well played" some went on to say "Mr. XYZ played horribly .. You lost because of him" .. some went a step further and said "You guys deserved to win .. no idea why you lost"
Yesterday during and after the match, it was the same. I distinctly remember atleast two three incidents where it was because of me that we lost a round. If I had killed Major while Jaya was diffusing the bomb, we had that one in, I had that idea in mind, but just messed it up. And again when it was down to 2 v 3 when they had planted the bomb, I killed all three of the opponents but yet delayed to ask Vidit to diffuse the bomb and the damn bomb exploded. Same old mistakes, same old comments. Sreejith told me today " you played well .. XYZ could'nt keep the site defended" .. but that does'nt change the final outcome .. does it .. the fact is that we lost .. and I LOST .. yet again and pretty much the same way as I did six years back.

Raskullz Vs. US

2005-03-18T20:37:00.000+05:30

This is a sincere request to all my clan members a.k.a Sam, Jaya, Bansi, and Shetty to NOT read any further ..

Today we have a match against the Raskullz, ug3 guys. They are a good clan and seriously speaking I am scared that this is going to be my last serious clan game in IIIT. We are not that good, u know. Ok, we are the lowest seeded team to qualify for the quarters, but does'nt change the fact that we are the "lowest seeded team" in the last eight and stastically speaking we should be out in this round itself before we cause any more upsets. I have stats to prove and support what I am saying .. Raskullz have Rao, who is beyond doubt the best sniper I have seen, after Saiki that is. They have Major, who is a great player with assaults and so is ORB. Other than that they are pretty much Ok ok .. but even their "ok , ok players" are better than our best players ( I don't know who is our best player ) .. I am told Sreejith has been telling them our strategy .. and frankly speaking I did'nt know we had a strategy for any game ( and mind you, I am the clan captain, the one who is supposed to make some strategies ).. I wonder what the hell has he been telling them ..
Aneway I came to know that this game was today at around 4:00 in the evening and I got serious that I have to play wll for this game .. You want to know how serious I got .. I SHAVED .. that's how serious I got .. I put on my V-neck T-shirt ( one that I have'nt used and hence washed for over a month ) and I consider it a lucky charm ( don't ask me why ) .. I came to lab ..send off a fiery email to the Raskal team .. here it is ..

Hi guys ,

We have a match tonite , could you sugguest some time and map.
For us, we would like to play anytime after dinner ( say, around 10:30 ).
But We have to discuss the map .. ;)

Utkarsh

To my surpise the reply came pretty quickly saying that they were not in a position to play the game tonite because they had a project demo today .. I can't tell you how happy I was to read this ..I get to live another day as the captain of a "clan" . another day of pride .. another day of admiration for my clan's headshots and another day of seeing my clan video .. but then .. Sreejith intervened in the sweet world of mine .. saying . "YOU HAVE TO PLAY THE GAME TODAY" .. so .. I sent another mail to raskals .. here it is ..

Hi guys ,

I talked to the organizers .. they say we can't delay this any further ..
we HAVE TO PLAY TONITE .. thatz the exact words .. no font change
or capitalising from my side .. aneway .. if you have demo tonite .. we
can play after your demo .. anetime you are free .. say around 12:00 or
even 12:30 ..( labs close at around 1:30 . so can't delay any further )

our preference stays the same .. inferno ..server will be at 5.6 .. and
the server passwd would be maps123 ..

c ya then .. all the best .. gl + hf .

utkarsh

I was kind of hoping that they would reply saying "F**K the organizers .. we can't play tonite .. you get a bye if you want to win that way" .. Poor souls .. did'nt know thatz the only way I expect to win a game against them .. Aneway .. The devil that sits over the shoulder of all humans came to life .. and suggested that I stir it up a little .. how about making the organizers seem like Satan Avatars to the Raskullz .. but before I could make a move .. the angel that was sitting over Pati's Shoulder ( he is one of the Raskullz ) was supposable working over time and he sent me a IM saying that since dust2 and inferno are not acceptable .. ltz play Aztec .. now in case ou don't know .. Aztec is a Sniper map .. and they have Rao .. it was like agreeing to commit suicide and I did agree ( after talks with team mates a.k.a Sam and Jaya .. ) ..

Now here I am .. 2.5 hrs to go before the match starts .. and waiting for Raskullz to unleash hell .. I am not afraid .. I am scared .. I hope I get atleast one frag tonite ..

************* LATEST UPDATE ********************
we lost the game .. and I kind of think that it was because of me .. If I had not been so nervous .. we could have done it .. consider the final score yaar .. it was 13-10 .. and at one point we were leading 10-7 .. they won 6 games in a row .. too bad .. we should have played much better as CTs . I was so nervous as CT that I ws unable to control the mouse for about 4-5 games .. and the score line read 0-5 for me .. but then .. better sense prevailed and we were somehow able to level the score 6-6 as CT .. but I am sure we could have done much better than that .. had someone else played instead of me .. aneway .. enough said and done .. life moves on .. was a Good game .. and I'll remember this game because it was one game where we played really well .. and could have won .. but ... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ... it's not an ego issue or anything .. just the fact that we lost .. and are out of tourney .. will never be able to play CS as a clan again .. never an official game ever for us .. I feel bad .. jayaram says .. we will create CS servers at Verizon and play there .. ;)) .. good idea .. will see how far that idea goes ..
aneway .. Good game Raskullz .. GG .. all the best ..

Tech Tech Tech ...

2005-03-15T02:12:00.000+05:30

So what the hell am I doing these days .. other than blogging that is .. ??
Bolero tells me that I have been chatting .. but ofcourse he does'nt know that my chat friends are either effected by virus infected comouters or are themselves sick with viral fever or have HUGE assignments and project work to do .. somehow I think that is all an excuse these people make for not coming online .. so that they can stay away from me .. :)) ..
aneway . so .. the original question was .. what am I doing these days .. ??
During the past 7 days I did 3 things that were to my interest .
1> Wrote the FYP report .. well .. that's the only thing I do in my FYP .. write reports . not finished it yet . ( Maddy .. if you are reading this .. the first thing I'll do as soon as I finish this post is to complete the report .. Promise :) )
2> Made a Clan Video for CS .. came out pretty well .. but then Shiben made a zillion times better video the very next day .. so I am thinking about making another one which comes atleast close to what Shiben has done ..
3> Made a blog update notifier .. Now on I'll get a mail every night at 4:00 AM .. telling me whose blog has been updated .. :) .. Helps me .. Now I don't have to increase the visitor count of blogs that have'nt been updated.

Enough work for one week .. is'nt it ..
Feeling too sleepy now .. may be I should sleep now .. will do the report tomorrow ..

U Rock

2005-03-15T01:14:00.000+05:30

Today I had a conversation with Parivesh about Prof. Govindrajulu. Apparently today they had filled up the feedback form for his compiler's class. And, as is the ritual, before the forms reach the academic office, Prof. Govindrajulu took a look at them and read them out loud. We always thought this was funny, because, ACCORDING TO RULE, the feedback form should reach academic office first and only the feedback report should go to the teacher. But he is Dean, academics, and a classic example of what a man in position of making a difference can do. Apparently the appreciation for our teachers has found a new phrase. Someone wrote " YOU ROCK " on the form. Gone are the days when students used to appreciate the hard work and dedication of the teachers with words like "knowledgeable" and "is experienced" and "intellectual" and "visionary". Even Prof. Govindrajulu was perplexed at the usage of the word ROCK to describe his teaching. Old man that he is ( around 80 years ), probably thought it was an insult of O(n^infinity). He started calling students names, to which the students responded with enthusiastic zeal. Must have been a great scene, sure about that.
Anyway, whatever I wrote above is not the reason for this post. Parivesh pointed out one flaw in his teaching, which according to me was NOT a flaw. He says that he makes too many jokes in class and his jokes are usually at the expense of a student and hence are humiliating to that particular person. I think that as long as students take it in the right spirit it's not humiliating and is actually enjoyable. I respect Prof. Govindrajulu for the kind of person he is. He is not a great teacher, I agree, but as a person .. I think he is a role model. What I find particularly nice about him is his modesty. Even at this age, he does not mind accepting his mistake. He always accepts his ignorance about something he doesn't know .. and always says that he will find about it. The most important thing is that he DOES find out about it and comes back to the next class knowing more that the person who initially pointed out his ignorance on the subject. I appreciate his memory too. He remembers most of the books that he has read, PAGE BY PAGE. And add to that his zest to learn more and more, for which he keeps himself updated by reading all the possible science and computers' magzines and new publications. Most of his classes are filled with references to these magzines, and not just the names, he would actually point out the page numbers and the summary of the article of interest too.
I agree that sometimes his jokes can be embarrassing to the student at the receiving end of it, but come to think of it .. he is afterall only trying to make the class a little more interesting. And if once in a while, he feels that he has hurt someone's sentiments, I have SEEN him apologize about it in person.
All in all .. He does ROCK ... and I hope he understands ( if he ever reads this .. :)) ) that this is an appreciation and by no means an insult. If in future, I could be even half as learned and knowledgeable a person as He is .. I would consider myself lucky.

Last 20 days .. ainnn ??

2005-03-12T21:05:00.000+05:30

OH MY GOD .. If it was a torpedo that struck Jayaram, I am probably struck with a nuclear bomb . Just 20 days, and now it's only 19. F%$# you Jaya for the stupid blog .. I am not visiting your blog ever again. Why do you have to write such depressing posts ..

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

just 19 .. ??

I never thought I would be saying this .. but I don't want to leave college ..
Too depressed to write about it now .. probably more on "What has IIIT done to me" Crap in the next post .. only 19 ?? .. someone please invent a time machine .. fast ..
F**K you Jaya .. If this is the answer to your name not featuring in the video more often .. it has achieved more that the video deserved ..
Henceforth you are branded as an insensitive .. Courtsey -> Brand Manager

Long Week .. No Post

2005-03-08T19:44:00.000+05:30

A Lot of things have changed since I posted smething on my blog last sunday. Last post was a breezy one, was the outcome of what came to my mind at that particular moment when I was typing, and probably about backlogs in my mind about how and what I felt about stuff. But since that day,things have been looking up. Had a much better week than the last.
I have no particular reasons to be happy. Probably the fact that we won 2 matches in a row at the CS tourney against supposedly tough competetiors, or may be because I patched up things with a friend ( ok .. she initiated it AND I AM NOT PROUD OF THE FACT THAT SHE DID ... THE MISTAKE WAS MINE ( happy now ?? :)) ) ... but still we did kinda patch up ) .. or may be because Bhaiya got a second job at Pune ( something he was looking for .. for a long time ) .. or maybe because papa said "Meetu .. I think you are grown up enough now to take decisions on your own" .. or may be because I talked to Shivani for the fourth time in seven days ( ok .. the PCO bill is in four figures .. but it's all worth it ) ..
Other than these there are a couple more things about which I would definately not like to post here .. because it's somewhere on the line between blogging your feelings and showing off .. and already some people are of opinion that blogging is a means to do the later.. so I would avoid mentioning that incident ..
Other than that .. hmm .. did'nt follow the first day of Cricket match between India and Pakistan at Mohali; but read about it at CricInfo. I feel happy for Balaji. The guy has earned his place in the team in face of some tough competetion. I love the way he bowls. Seems like Srinath, not the action, but the heart. Never seems to give up, always has hope that his next delivery is going to rattle the stumps. Even while he is batting, you should see his face when he dispatches the quickest of seamers around the world for a six. For me, he is like a second Srinath. A bowler with a heart and a batsman with guts.

Sunday .. yaani ki Funday ??

2005-02-28T02:18:00.001+05:30

Woke up at 9:30 AM .. had plans for Runway-9 today and we were supposed to leave by 10:00 ..we were a little late in starting off and came back by around 8:00 PM .. I will write more about the day as soon as I get the snaps .. may be next post .. right now . I think I should write about something that I have been thinking about for the past one hour .. Or rather I have been forced to think about this ..
During the past 1-2 hours numerous questions have been posed .. some straight to me .. some to everyone ... I wish I could have answered it straight away then and there .. but I could'nt ..

Question 1 -> Why do I never blog about my parents .. If a blog is a way of expressing my feelings .. don't I have any feelings towards my parents .
Answer -> Because some feelings are just too special to discuss so openly on a blog .. and to be rather frank .. too personal .. I never posted on any thing that has even remotely to do with what I feel about people around me .. be it my parents .. my friends .. or anyone else.

Question 2 -> Why do I Blog ?
Answer -> Because I feel this is a good way to keep a record of my feelings and thoughts. I am pretty sure I won't remember ( say 5 years from now ) how I felt after watching "Black" .. or the Sassy Girl .. but a blog is a useful utility to keep an online record of my feelings .. and as Jaya wrote somewhere .. a diary is just too scheduled and small and problematic to refer later on.

Question 3 -> Should we have expectations .. Is it fair to have expectations from people around you.
Answer -> Yes .. expectations are a way of expressing my trust and faith in the person concerned. and beause I expect something from people makes them answerable to me .... similarly i expect them to expect stuff from me .. and hence show their trust and faith. Hence expectations make sure that a relationship is answerable both ways. I guess if people expect something from me and because I am answerable to them .. it keeps me on my toes all the time and helps me make the decision of right and wrong because I know the wrong would be offending to the person concerned.

Everybody has the moments in one's life when he realises that he/she has made a mistake in doing something that he/she really should'nt have. we all get carried away .. after all we are all "normal" humans and however hard we try we can't be "mahatamas" .. I guess I am trying to say that we all make mistakes .. but don't you think that a better person realises his mistakes and makes amends for it ... and the sooner we do it the better .. I did it .. did'nt I ??
what do u say .. ??

My Sassy Girl -> Yet another review

2005-02-23T22:59:00.000+05:30

Released in 2001,and publicized for long as the "best movie that Korean Cinema has to offer" .. I wonder I did'nt know about it for 4 years ..
I have no words to describe a movie this good. Because whatever I write will not be enough to describe what I felt after seeing the movie. It was awesome .. nothing less than that.
See these pics .. after all a picture is worth thousand words .. :)

	I would love to be the guy here .. but .. ahh .. stupid long distance love ..
	"See that far off mountain .. Will you climb up there and tell me if you can hear me from there ??"
	"Why does the ball keep hitting my face ?? "

See it if you believe in Love ..

and before I forget .. "Fate is building a bridge of chance for the ones you love" ..

Page 3 -> Movie Review

2005-02-17T17:48:00.001+05:30

"Kitne ajeeb rishte hain yahaan pe ..
do pal milte hain .. saath saath chalte hain ...
jab mod aaye to bach ke nikalte hain ..
kitne ajeeb rishte hain yahan pe"

It was a nice movie. We all, lesser mortals, wonder all the time about what is Page 3 life actually like. After seeing the movie, one thing is for sure .. most of us won't fit in there. Acting wise, all have given a so so performance other than the "vinayak Mane" Character ( Atul Kulkarni ) and the guy who portrayed the off beat dutyfull Police officer ( Upyendra Limaye ) .. nothing much to write about there .. but rather than the story and the direction of the movie .. what I liked about the movie was the theme. It tells us, hopefully the truth, about the life of Page 3 Socialites. The rich and famous as they are called, are famous at a price. The power play, the affection and the fake sympathy .. all only to remain in the party circle and more importantly, on Page 3.
Konkana Sensharma ( got her name now ) gives a wonderful performance, trying to explore the world of these elite personalities as a Page 3 journalist, and her first hand experiences make her regret her decision to do this.
Good movie, but only if you have time on hand and/or you are extremely bored.

Words ..

2005-02-17T02:35:00.000+05:30

"True Love Never has a happy ending .. because true Love never ends."

Just got the above message on my cell and I was thinking about posting something. Inspiration, they say, comes with small things. And I was inspired by this message to post what follows.
Have you ever wondered how often it happens that you say something and then just forget it. But your words have so much effect on someone that he/she remembers it forever. It happened for me with Shivani, a few classmates and a lot of friends. I just can't believe how much small things done / said by me have altered their thoughts about me. And the best part of all of this is that just after saying / doing it, you never feel anything special. It's only after a long time, when the person comes back to say and says thanx for that particular day ..believe me it's an awesome feeling.
Unfortunately ( for me atleast ), it's not just the good stuff that people remember about me. There is a lot of stuff that I've said about people to their faces that they have taken to their heart. Now I wish I had'nt said them, but I can't take them back. All I can say is "sorry" which most people don't want to hear. I don't know what is wrong with me, but when I see something I have this irrepressible urge to just blurt stuff out. I sometimes end up saying stuff that hurt some people. Has happened to me a lot of times in the past and still I haven't learnt my lessons. I can't be diplomatic and come to think of it, I am harboring hopes of a managerial position in my life. If I can't control myself, I wonder what kind of a stupid manager I'll make in future.

Jayaram, a few days back, asked me take a look at his collection of poems ( which, I doubt, were his ). That got me started on this poetry thing. Jayaram says " Poetry speaks to you ". Well I found one which does speak to me .. have a look at this.


Somewhere between time and space
You will discover that very special place
A magical kingdom not hard to find
Where the residents are all sweet and kind
So filled with love for all mankind
For that somewhere between time and space
Lies not in heaven but here on earth

For this inner space is located right here
In a very familiar neighborhood
Called our heart, our mind and our soul
Where all residents give of their gift of love
And is their one and only goal
                                      - Joseph P. Martino

Black -> Movie Review

2005-02-12T01:03:00.000+05:30

I am not a movie buff, but of all the movies I have ever seen, I think Black is amongst The Best. Sunil summed it up pretty well in the end "If this does'nt win an Oscar .. what will". The story is definately a brave deviation from everyday masala movies or for that matter most of the movies that we see. The experience of seeing Black was like seeing 'Anand' for the first time, except that it was more close to life than Anand. I am told that this movie is inspired from a real life story of someone named Hellen Keller. Something like this has happened in someone's life and think about it, it most probably happens to blind and deaf people everyday.
Black is a story from the heart, for the heart. Even a guy like me, who takes life on a day to day basis, a rather happy go lucky attitude, finds it touching. It tells us how exactly is the world for a blind and deaf person. Imagine being in a room, where there are no lights and everyone speaks in a language which makes no sense to you, basically because you yourself have no idea what conclusion to draw from the sounds you are hearing. That's what life is for these people, every minute, every hour, every day, every year, all life.
And then, comes into little mitchell's life, GOD. She calls him, her teacher. At first she has trouble understanding what teacher means, but he teacher her that too. Her first words maa, papa, and then teacher. Just goes to show the importance of these three people in her life. Slowly she learns everything that she needs to. And then she even goes on to become a grad student, thanks to the guidance of her teacher.
For me, every scene was a experience worth remembering. The movie has been rather beautifully picturized. At no part of the movie would you feel bored or would feel that the movie has come to a standstill. Especially since the start of her college life, the movie has become from being good to a classic. I liked the part in the movie where she appears for her interview. When asked what is knowledge for you, she replies for me "knowlwdge is my teacher". Another scene which I liked a lot was the part where her mother sees her using the spoon for the first time, and says to Mr. Sahay " you have made a fine lady out of my daughter, thank you .. ", and then breaks off crying. Yet another scene, where she talks to her mother on phone to tell her that she has failed in her exams yet again, I think that was rather beautifully picturized. I think that the scene where Amitabh reads her speech on her sister's engagement party is also good. And at the top of the list of wonderful scenes, the speech in the end on her graduation day from Rani mukherjee is simple superb.
Acting wise, for me, I feel the lady playing the role of Rani's mom did a SPLENDID job. Rani and Amitabh are pros and great acting IS expected from them and they do deliver the results with a power packed performance. But the surprise package is the girl playing young mitchell ( Ayesha Kapoor ?? ). She was definately great at her part. She did seem to bring out the helpnessness in Mitchell pretty well.
Overall, a must must must must must must must see movie. A great story, wonderful performances and great direction .. what else can you ask for ?

My Experiments with FRENCH

2005-01-30T22:22:00.000+05:30

First of all let me clear one thing about this post ..
First .. It's NOT about FRENCH KISSING .. basically because I have had no personal experiences of it .. and we all know to experiment with something , we first need to experience it. I am not sure that applies to everything, but certainly it applies here.
Second .. It's NOT about FRENCH TOAST .. basically because, I've absolutely no idea what it is .. I mean how different could it be from a normal toast. For me toast is always a half burnt loaf of bread with as much butter put on it as possible. I know that's what not what normally a toast is for most of you people, but then you have'nt ever had a chance to eat a toast at my home. :)

ok .. coming to the point .. I was talking about a FRENCH BEARD. I tried, I failed, came back strongly, and failed yet again. After trying for weeks to get my beard in the "FRENCH CUT SHAPE", I finally managed to get it last wednesday. I guess most of you realise the efforts that have to be made to get a FRENCH CUT. I mean, for week after week my razor would unknowingly venture towards my chin area, even though I had made up my mind to not allow it to go there. Still, out of some strange reason .. it happened again and again. May be it was GOD's way of telling me to forget it. But my mind was made up ..and I knew that someday I am going to do it. I even thought about what I would look like with a french. In case, you can't imagine .. lemme help you ..

Ok then.. with this Pic in hand and my mind made up .. I decided to give it a shot last wednesday. I took my kit to the wash basin and started the battle that would remain itched in my mind for many years to come. Finally at the end of a gruelling 10 - minute fight between man and machine ( my razor ) .. I won and I had the FRENCH in perfect shape. Ok .. I thought I looked pretty cool in it .. but then to my surprise, most people even failed to notice it that day. After a rather upsetting day, when no one had noticed the "new thing about me" .. I went to Poppy .. and he said .. " tryin a french - cut " and laughed like he had just seen a circus clown. I said " not trying man .. I have the french cut " .. He came close and said .. " hmm .. ". Now " hmm" is generally one of those things that you never know what to answer with. I just came back to my room and said may be after tomorrow will be a better day.
Next day started with a bang with Someone in lab pointing out that I was trying a french cut. He had sort of a "look at him .. he looks so funny" feel to his comment.
Aneway I decided to ignore him and give it more time. That night, as I was going out for dinner, two girls of my class were standing just outside the college campus. I did'nt notice them in the start, but later on as I came close to them, one of them looked at me with a sheepish smile that said " OH MY GOD " ( a - la Janice from F.R.I.E.N.D.S ). Ok .. fine .. may have been a mistake, may be the comment was for me and not for the french cut. I endured another long night with the french cut. The next day started with almost everyone noticing it. People in my wing were noticing it and looking at me again and again just to make sure that they saw the right stuff. I had to confirm that I was seeing myself when I looked at myself that morning. I looked kind of strange, awkward too, but what the heck. I thought may be I should keep it for one more day. But I guess my friends had had enough of it. Rakesh was the first one to point it out .. " Kyun devdas ban ke ghoom raha hai" .. I said " are it's just a matter of few days .. and it'll be gone by the time my parents come over here". Nipun said " Welcome to the club" ( here you should know that Nipun has been keeping a french cut for as long as I can remeber .. don't make your dirty minds work overtime yto understand what the club could mean ). By the evening, that day, almost a dozen guys had pointed out something or the other about the eye sore.
That did it. I made up my mind to get rid of it. So I took out my razor again and got back to work. And did it. It's better to stay clean shaven anyday than trying to make sure that you have'nt cut a little bit extra while shaving for a FRENCH CUT.

My UnCommon Life

2005-01-25T13:04:00.000+05:30

At the beginning of this year, I made a promise to myself. A Promise to stay different, try not to follow what everyone else is doing. Have my own views and do what I actually believe in, even if it means staying aloof from a large portion of people I know. Kind of like a new year resolution. Stay different, and do what you actually believe in rather than doing what your friends, or people around you want you to do.
I thought I had succedded in doing the same, untill life decided to hit back. Early morning ( by my standards .. IST 11:30 AM ), 15th January and life has never been the same since. At first I was frantic at this sudden change of events until I realised that I had to be the stronger person here. I tried it, but what use is it. Life had decided to screw me up and it's mind was pretty much made up on making me pay for trying to be different. At first I was the counsellor, and now i need counselling.
At first I was the person who thought that everything will be alright, and now I need the assurance time and again. It just happens that when someone is so close to you, her life is no longer just HER life. It becomes a part of your's. Everything that happens to her, you just can't let it happen and think that someday everything will be allright. It's a kind of helplessness that I feel at not being able to be there in person to comfort her at her darkest hour. May be it's me who needs the comfort now. And at the back of the mind I feel morally responsible for all that is happening, because if it was'nt for me, something like this would never have happened.
I still sing along with all my friends, I still go the parties that my friends throw, I still read P.G. Wodehouse at night before I go to sleep, everything is the same, but why is it that a part of me that says that nothing is the same. And it never will be the same again? Why can't I be like the guy who gets all he wants in life, why can't I be the common man ??

Meri Kahani .. OST from STOP

2005-01-21T05:21:00.000+05:30

Ever heard a song that speaks to YOU, about YOU, is YOU, and conveys everything that YOU want to say ? Well, I heard one last night ..

Meri Kahani Mera Kissa ho tum
Meri Kahani Mera Kissa ho tum

Tumhe kaise bhula sakta hun
Kaise dil se mita sakta hun
Meri sason kaaaa .. hissa ho tum

Meri Kahani Mera Kissa ho tum
Meri Kahani Mera Kissa ho tum

Tumhe kaise bhula sakta hun
Kaise dil se mita sakta hun
Meri sason kaaaa .. hissa ho tum

Meri kahaniiii ...

Since the Blog is already too big .. Click here for full text of the Lyrics ..

TAship SUX

2005-01-12T19:52:00.000+05:30

I had a pretty good experience last time when I was TA, and this time around it was a nightmare. We finished the exam copies correction NOW ( exams got over in Novemeber ). And now we are supposed to be the ones, who have to check the labtest, 2 mid sems, end sems and assignments ( 4 ). There are some 90 students in the course. It's not at all easy to do it and then, I don't understand why is it that all the correction work has to be done by the TAs. What are the Course Instructors there for ? In the first place I did'nt want to be the TA for M. Techs and certainly not if Lalitha was course instructor. But then, greed is a VERY VERY bad thing. 3000 per month is just not worth the troubles of being a TA under Lalitha.
I guess the feedback she would be giving to the faculty would make sure that I am not the TA ever again. But that is not the problem, considering that I would be in the institute for just another 4 months and have'nt applied for any more TAships.
Aneway I guess everything is over now. Only one more thing left to do. I have to total the marks on the mid term answer scripts that we corrected ( she could have done this, atleast ?? ). That should finish it off.

Shimla Trip

2005-01-07T17:29:00.000+05:30

I have no definite words to describe the vacations. It was pretty much like the usual vacations, except that it was a lot more fun, lot more sleep, and basically lot more vacation like than what just plain simple "vacations" sounds like.

He he he .. I am getting good at writing BC ..

Ok .. Serious Stuff. Shimla Trip was GREAT. We all thought that we would be having fun in Shimla, but seriously, fun was never funnier than what it was in Shimla. I was a little paranoid in the start. In case you don't know me well enough, I am scared of heights. Well Now I can proudly say that I USED TO be scared of heights. We started off with a little adventure on the ropeways. And that's when it hit me. How can something so beautiful be scary. And that's when I began enjoying myself. On the way up, I was having a hard time looking down, but when I did, I guess I saw heaven. It was SOOO beautiful. And then, everything seemed just right. We had lots of fun on the ropeways ( much to my and the guide's discomfort .. he told us tht if we kept jumping on the trolly it may fall down ). Journey back ( downwards ) was much better. Seemed safer .. don't know why.

View from the Trolley ( The Heaven I talked about )

After that we went to Nauni, to Upasana's college. Nothing much to write about there. Had lunch, met her, and then left. She had exams going on, so Sunil could not stay with her ;). Aneway we went to Shimla after that. Reached Shimla sometime late in the evening, was too late for anything and we were all really tired after the long journey. But Still, after checking in, we went for a trip to Mall Road. I bought a locket for myself. Went for Swades late in the night. Was ok ok . I did'nt like it very much but Gayatri joshi was GREAT. She seems like the perfect dream woman. Had dinner and then left in the morning for a trip around Shimla. Saw a few nice places. Went to a few temples. And then left for Darouti ( Sunil's Village ). It was another 3 to 3.5 k feet above Shimla. I guess that makes it clear how cold it was up there. Half the guys were already down with fever and cold. But still, the fun never stopped. I guess the best part of the trip was in Sunil's Village. It was a great place. Allthough it was cold outside, we did'nt feel much inside the house. And the room, in which we stayed was about the size of a big trolley back. It all seemed like a dream place.

Sunil's Place

Next day we went for Trekking. The road leading to the point where we were supposed to start the trekking provided enough adventures for us to remember all through our lives. It was a car journey, and at points there was'nt enough width to allow anything more than the car to pass through, and this was just the starting. After about half way up, it was almost impossible for the car to go forward. The drivers did great work, but then, human efforts has it's limits. Even they gave up and we decided to walk the rest of the way up. It was'nt much fun walking the mud road ( the problem was .. we had to go UP ). But things got better the first time we saw snow. We spent about 15 minutes admiring the beauty of the place, and had no idea that if we kept walking, better things waited for us. We kept walking for another half an hour and reached a temple. This was the place, where we were supposed to start our trekking from. The great thing about this seemingly small temple was that it was in the middle of a small "kund". The water flowed into it continuously, we were told, from Ganga, and then it froze. We all went into the temple one by one, and as luck would have it, I injured myself ( ok .. a small injury ). We did'nt had our shoes on, and I kicked the stairs by mistake. Started bleeding and then tied a hankerchief around it. Others had loads of fun at that place. Some of them walked on the ice. I was seriously scared when Parivesh tried it. But it seems the ice was pretty thick ( it did crack a little though, Pankaj tells me ).

The Temple

We started the trekking, but the hankerchief transformed me into BIGFOOT, and now my shoes were too tight. I could'nt walk much coz the hankerchielf keppt rubbing the cut again and again when I walked. Had to give up, after walking for about half hour. Few others gave up too, everyone was tooo tired aneway. But 5, 6 guys made it to the top of the mountain. Must have been a great feeling.
Aneway returning early has it's advantages. On the base camp ( that's what we called the point where the cars were parked ), the drivers lit up a small fire. It was soooo cold by then, that we did'nt come out of the car for half an hour. It was all so silent that you could almost hear the wind blow. It sounded like a huge army of barabrians about to attack a small village, and as it passed through you, you would almost feel that it's carrying you with it. I know I am making it sound harsh and scary , but it was rather beautiful.

WallPaper Material

The next day, since we did'nt have much to do, we thought it would be better to go back to shimla and spend another day there. Money was a "small" problem with this plan ;) , but Parivesh arranged for our stay at the Govt Guest House in Shimla. No Lodging fee and no bills for the dinner. GREAT, is'nt it. The rooms were much much better this time, though the food was'nt that great. After that night, the next day we had to start the trip back home. I somehow had the feeling that I had gained weight and when I finally did take my weight at Kalka Station, much to my surprise I had gained about 5 kgs. YIPPPIE ... SHIMLA ROX.
After Shimla, we spent a few hours in Chandigarh. Went to Rock Garden and I nicknamed it as "The Nek chand Garden of Crap". Everything you see there, is crap. But Crap was put to good use. My only problem with the whole setup, was why the hell did they put the toilet pots on the walls. I did'nt touch even a single one ;). The crazy mirrors were great. We had a few of these in Gorakhpur. Reminded me of that time. The swings in the centre lounge were HUGE. And the girls on them seemed to be defying all the laws of physics that I had learnt in my adult life. How can someone go up SOOOOO much and land back safely. They should probably be appearing on Ripley's.
My return journey was supposed to start from Kalka station, at night on 22nd. Vidit and I spent 2 and half lonely hours on the kalka station. We talked about the Shimla trip and how much fun it was. And at the back of our minds we both realised and knew it pretty well, that such things happen once in a life time. Probably this would be the last time so many of us had a huge get together. Probably I would never be meeting most of these people six months after now, but I am pretty sure that the memories of this trip would stay with me forever.

Last minute jitters

2004-12-14T01:51:00.000+05:30

Finally .. I am leaving for Shimla tommorow morning. And as usual, allthough it's 2:00 AM already and the train is at 8:00, I am not packed even a little. I think I must first get through the copy correction part. Packing should take a maxim of one hour. Almost all work finished in college. Sometimes we keep postponing all our work, and when the date finally comes, there is sooo much work to do all of a sudden that you feel sorry for yourself. Kinda something like that happened to me today. I have been making to-do lists since yesterday. And I have already lost the first two of those. Now i am making sure that I don't loose the final one. So, instead of writing it on a paper and carrying it around in my back pocket ( hey .. I found my last to-do list .. ), I have decided to write a txt file and keep a soft copy.
The most important work, was regarding Verizon forms. They were supposed to be dispatched by 18th of October, and now it's 14th December. I did'nt expect such irresponsible attitude from Paddy. Aneway, all said and done I managed to manage the whole stuff pretty well. Finished my form, and made sure that they are ( atleast the ones that are completed ) are sent out by tomorrow morning. The problem is that four guys ( jayaram, Upadhyay, Sreejith, and Vishnu ) are not in campus. It's going to take a lot of effort to get the forms to them, and then there are so many certificates to attach. TOO MUCH WORK. Why can't they just make 1 page forms and 1 page offer letters. By the way, I saw my salary break up today. It seems I would be getting somewhere around 22K in hand. That's pretty decent, I guess :).
ITFP demo -> The lesser said the better. I sat in his office for fifteen minutes, trying to figure out WHY THE HELL, does the database not get updated. but NOOO .. it had to strike me only after I came out of his office and after being told "It seems you have worked on this project, but you are not able to show things here". I guess that's Teacher talk for "F****R, did you even write a single F****D UP line of code for this F*****G project"

ITFP + FYP + Shimla

2004-12-11T14:31:00.000+05:30

Finally got to do smthg .. was boring .. but atleast I did something .. designing the interface for the FYP reminded me of the gool old days of Virtual Physics lab. I don't regret giving it up, had my reasons, but I do miss spending the nights at IT for Education Lab doing the Project. Was fun .. and even though I used to get upset thinking about what we were made to go through at that time, I kind of think it was for the best, the end product was actually something nice.
ITFP -> Had to cancel my program for Bhopal, coz I HAVE TO STAY BACK TILL MONDAY for the itfp viva. It was disgusting, the was the Prof. talked. I had ticket for next day morning 8:00 AM and he tells me to stay back and work on the project. what does he think I am ?? aneway .. all said and done .. I had to stay back because I had absolutely no otehr option .. talking to mom and dad on phone made me feel better about the whole situation .. aneway I would'nt have been able to spend much time in Bhopal, and I am reaching home on around 24th.
FYP -> Viva over .. was embarrasing actually . Comeon our project had nothing to do with Fourier Transforms then why the hell where we asked about it. We just happened to use Wavelet Transforms, thatz it. so why were we quizzed about Fourier and other Crap. Aneway .. pankaj managed to take all those questions .. ad answered almost all. And the worst part was, they did'nt see even a single line of the code. Not even the output. Why the hell did i spend 3 nights in a row staying up and doing the Project. It's bullshit. If they just wanted to see the presentation why did they take the pains to come to our lab .. we could have just mailed it to them.
Shimla -> something good .. finally .. we are going to shimla. But my program is a little changed. instead of reaching from Lucknow to Kanpur .. I am going from here directly to Kanpur ..no stopovers are Lucknow. Hoping to have a good time in Shimla. Unfortunately Abhinav can't make it, so it's down to just 16 guys. But Aneway, the trip should be fun. Afterall, I would be seeing snow for the first time.

Angel : Title Track from "City Of Angels"

2004-12-02T15:07:00.000+05:30

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

Veer Zaara

2004-11-30T02:48:00.000+05:30

Claassic .. Classic .. Classic .. I don't think I have seen a more romantic movie. Some people told me that the second half of the movie was boring, but I think I found the second half was more interesting. The court room scene was the best. The scene where Sharukh senses Preity Zinta's presence in the court, was awesome as was the scene where
Rani Mukherjee reaches shahrukh's village and sees Preity there. I kind of sensed that something like this would happen, but Yash Chopra can make an awesome scene out of a normal hindi film formula scene. Yash Chopra has a knack for making the simplest of scenes seem like a remake of DDLJ. The poetry at the end from Shahrukh was just as awesome .. just showed how deep was in his thoughts. He poured out his thoughts, his feelings that he had hidden for the past 22 years. I have never seen a more emotional scene not even K3G. Yash Chopra ROX .. :)

what now

2004-11-25T18:08:00.000+05:30

I feel like I am not doing any serious work these days. And the truth is that I am not. I think I should do something, like coding, or web page designing just for the sake of it. I thought about it a couple of days back, but where to start. I think may be I should design the group web page, that would give me some thing to do.
Also, I feel i should drop LCS. It's a stupid course and Rama is not good enough to make it interesting. May be Bio informatics would be better. Aneway Building Sciences should be fun. After all VG is taking the course.
CAT -> I screwed up the exam. I seriously feel I could have done lot better If I had prepared for it. I would miss the cutoff for DI by 2 or 3 marks. Other than that I guess I did pretty well in English and Quant. I need to improve on RC too. I attempted just 2 out of 5 in there. That is the scoring part, I guess. And I seriously feel, that had i taken it a little more seriously, I could have done it. There are times in life where you feel like turing the clock back ( i feel like doing it all the time ), but I guess the moment after I finished the CAT paper was definately one of them.
ITFP -> Amal and Tarun have taken the responsibility of doing the project and me and Sam would be doing all the extra work, like creating reports and setup files ( coz both of us do not know QT well enough to finish off the work in 2 days ). Hoping for some good news there.
Last night -> Why do I have to be such a jack ass at times. I have no idea why I behave this way. IT seriously hurts. It does, when someone you talk to, talks back that way. I am such an ass ... I don't know where to stop the jokes and to start talking seriosuly. GROW UP MEETU

Sooo Much to write about

2004-11-19T13:04:00.000+05:30

Ok , let me start off with Bangalore trip. Reached bangalore on 11th night, came back on 16th morning. Was a great experience meeting mama mami and payal sonu after such a long time. Really reminded me of mysourie ( IS the spelling correct ?? ). Talking to Sonu reminded me of my own experiences in plus 1 and plus 2. The lesser I write the better it is :). And Payal was as great as ever. Always making sure that I am not getting bored. Was a fun trip.
Ok, good news after I came back, Poppy n Venki made it through SEEC. THANK GOD. I can't really tell how happy I am. It always is a good sight to see their happy faces :) and MORE IMPORTANTLY, a reason to PARTY. Booze parties are always fun. Was first time for a lot of people ( including me ?? :D ). Now we are all waiting for Darbari to be back from home so that we can have a second party. We talked about our first crushes. Anand had some delightful insights :P. And Ranta, as always, told the best ( probably the most hilarious ) story of the day. Pankaj was quite after 3 drinks. Poppy and Kunal drank the least, I guess. Vidit was generally quite, and seriously scared me with his plans for my wedding night :). Rocky came up with interrupt signals time after time ( did seem a little drunk ).
New ( and last :( semester ) started on 16th. Still have'nt attended even a single class. I have taken a couple of crap courses. not sure how am i going to get through them. I mean with so strict attendence rules and stuff, it is kind of tough to comprehend what am I going to do at the end of this year. :)
Finally Vision grades are out. Got a B-. I am kinda happy with it. I mean i did much much much worse than that. Thanx to Jaws for the grades and Nirnimesh for the project.

What's next

2004-11-08T18:31:00.000+05:30

Exams almost over. Work almost finished. Projects demonstrated ( well .. almost ). The next big thing in my mind is whether or not I should go to Bangalore. I do want to go but then, I don't know exactly what is stopping me. Absolutely no idea.
Session re-opens on 15th. I want to be back by the evening of 14th ( that is . IF I go ). Other than that there are a few other things haunting my mind right now. Can't disclose them here, too public a place to do that :) ..
Aneway may be I should gt back to studies now. Plans for a party tonight, not sure whether the guys will go ahead with it. Afterall we have the end-sem tomorrow.

BC day celebrations ..

2004-11-01T13:46:00.000+05:30

someone pointed out that there were 250 mails sent yesterday. I think we brought down gmail with our mails .. :) .. it was fun .. doing BC after such a loooong time on such a LAAARGE scale .. some mails were really funny .. like the one from Chandu about angalore and the one from majji about Channai ..

BC rox ..
BC batch rox

A Pair of Blue Eyes - Thomas Hardy

2004-10-25T13:37:00.000+05:30

Definately the best novel I have ever read. I have been reading mysteries and science fictions so much that I almost forgot a romantic vein in my body :). But This one has brought it all back. Hardy is a true Genius. He has managed to show pure unadulterated love in a wonderful manner. The same story line would have looked awfull from anyone else, but then .. not everyone can write Romance. Elfride's character has been beautifully potrayed in the novel, and her innocence is almost visible to the reader.
Don't know what part of the novel has the thought crept into my mind, but it seems, that her true love was Harry. Stephen was, as Harry said, a young girl's fancy .. not her true love. I wonder if that is the case normally :) .. A rather fiting end, considering the mess that was created once Harry turned her down in London.
And the closing lines from Harry were the best. Probably meant more than what appears on the face value.

Right and wrong ??

2004-10-09T06:59:00.000+05:30

The whole placement scenario is full of shit. I did'nt want to be involved anywhere stupid this year and here I am, in the middle of 7th semester, facing a mob of angry classmates. I am sure there are some PISSED OFF guys looking for the next oppertunity to screw me up.

In case you have no idea what I just wrote .. well u don't know me well enough to be visiting this page .. so .. GET LOST !!!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Revival

2004-10-07T01:52:00.000+05:30

I have been watching a lot of Friends lately. I had not seen Season 7, 8 and 9 for a long time. I did not like season 10, basically because that's where it all ends. I won't see any episode from that one. But the other seasons are worth watching a million times. I like that part in particular, where Joey falls in love with Rachel, or the part with Joey and Chandler with Cathy. I think the episode with Chandler in a Box is quite great. Other than that one, I also like the one with Phoebe's Triplets ( 100th Episode ), and the one where Joey tells Ross about his feelings about Rachel, and the one where Chandler moves in with Monica ( especially the end ) , and the one where Joey moves out, The one with Football, the one with the Proposal .. Damm it .. i like the Whole SHOW ..

Joey Show !!! n Movie Review for Jersey Girl

2004-10-06T02:59:00.001+05:30

I must say that the Joey show has been kind of a let down .. I was expecting something like Friends .. but it's not even close to it .. Joey alone can not work up the magic of Friends .. They are making good efforts but nothing replaces F.R.I.E.N.D.S. ..
Jersey Girl was great .. one of the better movies that I have seen of late .. Ben Afleck was great .. but Liv Tyler .. wooooow .. SHE IS HOT !!! .. I like the scene in the movie where his daughter sits in front of him and Liv Tyler .. and asks "What are your intentions ...?? " and also where he takes his daughter to the city ..
Lovely movie alltogether ..

Long time No POST ??

2004-09-26T20:02:00.000+05:30

Busiest man without business .. yeah .. that's me .. I have absolutely no idea ahow i manage to get through the days .. CS has been keeping me a bit busy .. but i love the game .. i am thinking about taking the game home this winter .. atleast something to do when i am at home ..
Got the result of first Philosphy test .. scored maxim .. but have'nt done too well int he second test .. but not to worry .. coz only one of these two tests is to be counted .. IT for power project + the FYP, is all that is even close to studies, that i am even thinking.
I think time has come to get a bit serious about the FYP now .. but the problem is that i am stil not very comfortable with streams + relations .. CQL as such seems ok .. but i guess i need to be a bit more confident in it before i can speak about it in any viva panel ..

War And Peace

2004-08-27T23:32:00.000+05:30

Finished reading the book one today .. quite a huge book it is .. the first book has around 27 chapters ..and come to think of it, there are around 13 books ( if i am not wrong ) in continuation of the same. Quite a huge manuscript I would say.
The book seemed interesting except for a few scenes with a largely unneeded description of the fake sympathy towards the dying Russian count. The book ended pretty well, atleast I was looking forward to reading Book 2. I am not sure when will i start with it, but considering the amount of free time at my disposal, I guess time is not a problem. The only thing that bothers me is that I don't want to ger bored of reading Leo Tolstoy. And at present that's where I seem to be headed. Let's see , may be my opinions change after Book 2.

PC Mania and The Mysterious Stranger

2004-08-03T00:42:00.000+05:30

The new PC has brought with it the excitement which any new thing in life deserves. Jayaram with his 6.03 GB of stuff is definately making good use of the ample space provided. I am also in a frenzy, downloading anti-viruses and e-Books. Yesterday i downloaded about 10 Novels. And finally I got Shakespeare's plays on the net. I am not sure i'll have the time to read all of them, but well, someday i just might do it. Anyway right now i am busy with Mark Twain's "Mysterious Stranger". It's nice but also shows to what levels great authors can think of. He has looked at the human race and the human brain from a level which is almost impossible for me to even think of. Allthough i feel, so far atleast, he has managed to create a great impression of a great writer, but he has also managed to show how demeaning my life is. Everything I think, everything I do, Everything i dream of, is just so insignificant. May be things will be better when i finish the novel. And if it does'nt, well i have to search for a comedy next

Nothing new !!

2004-07-30T14:46:00.000+05:30

Got new PCs today for our new lab .. the new systems really rock .. AMD athlon 2800+, 256 MB RAM, 2.08 GHz. the only problem is probably with these fucking keyboards, wish i could have my old keyboard back :( .. it takes longer to type stuff now. My PC partners are Jayaram and Parivesh, which should'nt be a problem as they are in their rooms most of the time, and would probably need the PC only for backing up thier stuff.
Want to change login screen and other such stuff, but i am afraid i am going to mess up the system like last time.
Convocation tomorrow .. no class today .. PARTY TIME ..
Finally, good to hear that Ravi has also got a job in TCS and that too in Chennai .. hope to meet him there ..

Finally Something GOOD !!!

2004-07-25T11:39:00.000+05:30

Finally managed to make it through some company's interview. After being turned down at CA, I was probably at all time low. Never felt so bad about myself, but interestingly, even after having made it through Verizon, I don't feel any sense of achievement. I need to make it through a better company. I have to give the better companies a GOOD try. And I also hope that everyone here makes it through IBM or CSC. They can, but just need a little confidence boost up. Once everyone is placed, we can have a GOOD Party. Although I am a little disappointed, that all of us are not in the same company, and most probably won't be even in the same city, but it's a part of life and have to bear through this. Just want to thank GOD and those around me ( Pankaj, Parivesh, Poppy, Rakesh ) and mom and dad and bhaiya, for being there for me, when I gave up on everything.

Should I . shud'nt I ?

2004-07-13T15:59:00.000+05:30

last 12 hrs have been scary to say the least .. what's wrong with CA .. can't they make up an opinion as a company .. afterall M. Tech grp did the maximum amount of work @ CA. They not getting PPO means we are really really lucky. I am not sure now, whether or not we are getting the PPO now. coz last time they said, we will be coming on 22nd and finishing the formalities then. Now, if they are not coming then does that mean that no jobs for us? I am scared ...

Who am I ..I am Spiderman

2004-07-11T15:03:00.000+05:30

What an awesome movie .. A must must must see .. I kind of regret that I have already seen it .. a movie like this has to be seen in a movie hall. Kirsten Dunst looked Awesome and Toby was ok ok .. but Harry's character is gaining the grey shades .. I know what his future is going to be .. Waiting for Spiderman 3 now ..