Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Picture is worth thousand words

Moved to Wordpress ..

New Blog

Thursday, August 03, 2006

The Conversation with a Stranger

I had just been tucked in, late at night .. around 11:00 PM.
Phone started ringing. Under normal circumstances, I would have frowned at the idea of someone calling me at such late hours, but this ... this was a number I had never seen before. And this is the cue for every desperate , single , love monkey type guy to call back. Me, being one, called back ( though .. I must admit .. at the back of my mind was the fact that one of my school friends was due in hyderabad yesterday and it might be him ).

Me : Hello
She (yeah yeah yeah yeah .. SHE ) : Hellllloooo
Me : Yes
She ( yeah yeah yeah yeah .. SHE ) : YEEEESSSSSS
Me : did you just call me ??
She ( yeah yeah yeah yeah .. SHE ) : Did YOU just call me ??
ME : I got a call from this number , did you call me ?
She ( yeah yeah .. getting on my nerves .. but still .. SHE ) : I GOT a call from this number .. did YOU call me ??
Me : Are you just repeating what I am saying ?
She ( ahh .. come on lady .. ) : Are YOU just repeating what I am SAYING ??
ME : Ok, Seems like a wrong number. Sorry .
She ( finally broke her ressiliance ) : hey hey .. Sorry about that . I was just trying out random numbers and I got your number.
Me ( Very very disbelieving ) : ok , no problem. ( and then after a little pause during which I was trying to remember where have I heard this voice before). Do I know you ??
She : I don't think so. We have never met. I told you , it was a random number.
Me : Ok . ( still very disbelieving ). Bye then.
She ( around this time, her voice was getting on my nerves. she had terrible hindi which she used to fill up the pauses and she sounded like she was drunk ) : Hey wait, now that we have talked .. do you want to be friends ?
ME ( yayy yayy yayy .. ) : FRIENDS ?? Are you joking. How can you just call up random numbers and expect them to become friends with you. I don't even know you.
SHE : that's not a problem. Probably after this conversation, we will know each other.
Me ( Gosh .. she is really desperate .. but what the hell .. so am I ) : Well, I don't think it works that way. You need to meet people to know them and then you become friends with them.
She : Ok .. let's meet.
ME ( YAYY YAYY YAYY !! ** subsequently you may assume that yayy yayy yayy part unless mentioned otherwise ** ) : WHAT ?? ok , who are you ?? Venki are you trying out a girlish voice. no no .. it's Jayaram ... jaya .. stop joking .. Phone ka misuse mat kar .. no wait .. it could be Rocky .. but this does'nt sound like you .. ok .. WHO ARE YOU ??
She : First you tell me who are these people you just mentioned. Venki ? Jaya ? Rocky ?
ME : Well .. they are my good friends. experts at pranks and stuff like this. But why am I telling this to you .. for all I know, you could be one of these three.
She : Gosh, why are you so disbelieving. Can't you just believe that I called up a random number and got you.
Me : No, I can't. Randomness does'nt favour outliers like me.
She : WHAT?
Me : Nothing nothing . forget it.
She : Ok, What's your name.
ME: Utkarsh .. What's yours'.
She : Nice name ( I get that a lot .. thank you mom n dad ) . I am *******.
Me : Ok ..
She : So, what do you do ?
Me : I work.
she : where
ME : outside pizza hut at airport road. I am the gatekeeper there.
She : Yoy Stil don't trust me .. do you ?
Me : How can I ??
She : Well .. I told you my name .. what proof do you need.
Me ( with Joey's line in mind ) : I am Afraid I am going to need visual proof.
** and as soon as I said that .. ** Oh . nooooooooo .. SHIT
She : Yeah , thats fine. Let's meet.
Me : no .. please no.
She : Why ??
Me: See, I have a girlfriend. And I don't know what she will think of all this. So, let's not meet.
She : No problem, you don't need to tell her.
Me : ( he he he .. yeah .. not tell her .. I am going to tell the WHOLE World that I got a anon phone call from a a GIRL ) . no .. I can't lie to her.
She : Ok, if that's your decision. no problem.
Me: Yes ..
She : Ok, bye then .
Me : Ok .. bbye.

I might have yelled a "O My God" (a-la janice) at the end of this, which is what probably woke up my grandpa.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Platinum gym !!

As I had touched upon the topic of gym-ing in my previous post .. I think it's about time, I tell you people, how far have I progressed towards the muscular utkarsh.
He is just round the corner, as I see it .. and Far far far far far far far off .. as my gym instructor would see it. If the pain in my arm is anything to go by ( I am told that this happens when muscles are formed due to exercises ), I am very well on my way .. screw mr. instructor.
So what If I could not do the 50 dips as he asked me to do it .. he thinks it becomes easier if he says do 5 sets of 10 each .. I would like to see the hulk of the gym try to do it .. (For all I know , he just might .. I have seen him lifting 25 kg dumbles with quite an ease .. and if that happens .. you will have one more chance of marvelling at the wonderous phenomenon of putting utkarsh's foot in his own over sized mouth ) .. Anyway .. I had just crossed the border into double digits, when something near my left shoulder snapped and begged me to stop .. for the love of God .. stop .. of course .. I can't ignore such hartfelt pleas .. I AM human .. after all ..
so .. I told my instructor that I have done ( some quick thinking and random number generation engine in my mind gave me .. ) 28 push ups .. and am a little tired .. he said that is moderate effort for a starter .. and he is happy that I tried .. Something in my mind was telling me .. manipulative bastard ..
Anyway . my next task was to lift some 5 kg dumbbells .. should'nt be too tough .. only 5 kgs .. right ?? My instructor told me to count till 10 and do 5 sets of that .. As I said .. that did'nt make the process any easier .. Anyway .. with two hulky dumbbell shaped individuals on my side and two similar non living ones in hand .. I started counting .. The exercise was to lift the dumbbells over your head with one hand and then bring it down .. and then repeat the process with the other hand. I started couting .. right arm going up .. left arm going up .. 1 .. right arm going up .. left arm going up .. 2 .. .. .. .. .. .. after a minute .. right arm going up .. 12 .. left arm going up .. 13 .. right arm going up .. 14 .. left arm going up .. 15 .. and some time later .. right arm going up .. 22 , 23 .. left arm going up .. 24 , 25 .. and yes .. I did complete 50.
Next task was bar lifting .. For most of my life I had seen people lifting these bars with some weights attached at the ends .. and the bar that was given to me had no weights .. that seemed such a slap in the face .. I mean .. what do I need to do to get some respect from this man .. I mean .. did'nt I just do 28 push ups and 50 dumbbell lifts .. does'nt that count for anything ?? But you can't argue with the instructor there .. he is , after all , your instructor .. you just do what he tells you .. however damm easy or tough it may seem to be .. So, I took the bar from him .. and the very next moment regretted telling him I was not so tired even after 28 dips and 50 dumble lifts. This bar .. well .. did'nt require any weights .. it was pretty heavy all by itself .. only an absolute hulk could lift this thing with weights attached .. and I have mentioned .. the hulk utkarsh is still round the corner and not at the platinum gym yet .. under the watchful eye of mr. instructor .. I staretd out yet again .. and paused twice before 10 to get a breather .. he said I had done pretty well for a first day .. WHAT ?? first day .. excuse me .. I am a fourth day pro .. ok ?? .. I CAN do better than this .. I shall prove you wrong .. mr. bulky biceps and 50 inch chest .. and I lifted the bar once more over my head .. and then down .. yeah .. I think I have done well for a first day .. and I restored the bar respectfully to it's original position.
As I got out of the gym, I saw my bike outside .. my faithful companion .. right there when I need it the most .. I got onto the bike .. thanked Mr. Rooper for the best invention of all times .. the bike .. I pledged to come back the next day and give a repeat performance.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Another one coming up !!

The time on my system clock says 8:19 PM.
It's a Friday .. and I have undoubtably hit all time low in terms of spirits.
The approaching weekend is getting on my nerves. I have absolutely no plans for this weekend .. exactly like I had no plans for the weekend before this, and the one before that .. and one before that .. before that .. before that ..

If I had been in hyderabad, I would have things to do .. but somehow .. bangalore does not seem to be offering the same excitement that I had hoped for. Weekdays make me sick and weekends make me crave for that sickness.

And it's not as though, I have'nt tried to do stuff ..
I did try for a language course .. but then .. I could not find a class .. I find all one to one tutions .. Which is probably the most boring way to learn a foreign language. I Have joined a gym ( yeah yeah .. laugh all you want .. I am not thin anymore and I need to shed some weight now .. And since I am on the topic .. Gyming does'nt make you fitter .. it only makes your arms hurt and makes you sleepy all day. ) .. but then .. gym is only 30 mints a day .. and not really the high point of my day.

Work-wise, I have decided to space out my remaining work .. I have a small thing left to do which has to be spread out over 10 days .. so that I have something to do for all 10 days .. otherwise I will be just idle for 9 of these days .. and GOD help me then ..

Basically My Life sucks here ..
Intrestingly .. I thought I will not grumble anymore .. but just could not stop myself from doing it today ..

Thursday, June 08, 2006

you're beautiful

My life is brilliant.
My life is brilliant

My love is pure.

I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.

She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,

'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded place,

And I don't know what to do,

'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yes, she caught my eye,

As we walked on by.

She could see from my face that I was,

Fucking high,

And I don't think that I'll see her again,

But we shared a moment that will last 'till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded place,

And I don't know what to do,

'Cause I'll never be with you.

La la la
la la la la la la

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,

When she thought up that I should be with you.

But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Blocked !!

What do you do when you have a blogger's block ??
I have not found anything worth posting for the past two months .. and yet .. SOOO much has happened ..
During the past two months .. I have actually written and deleted four posts .. because after finishing the post I realized that I did not feel so strongly about it as I had thought I did (Reservations, for instance) .. I also deleted some posts that got a bit too personal (love life .. for instance) ..
how does one keep one's blog free from emotions and yet write posts that reflect what one feels ..

Basically , Lost the touch ..

A few things that came to my mind when I started posting in the past were
Reservations , Love Life , emotional turmoil 1 , Leaving hyderabad , Sucky sucky sucky bangalore , stupid Long training hours , new comapny , new team , Living with family , GOOD ( and free ) food , Good (and free) Lodging , trips to hyderabad ,
emotional turmoil 2 ..

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Hello from Airtel !!

I have been a Airtel Customer for quite some time now and they continue to amaze me with their business tact ..
During the months of November , December and January my phone bill touched new heights, each month bill competing with the earlier months' in a race to doom my financial fortunes .. they did partially succeed .. and during this period of three months I did not receive a single SMS/call from Airtel about offers/subscriptions .. the one time they called was around the 28th of each month to tell me that my bill has been generated and since i have crossed my credit limit, I should be paying by 30th of that month.
So, in February .. I decided that I have had enough .. No more frantic calling and sms-ing .. just stick to not more than 5 calls everyday and not more than 10 messages a day !! (Was HARD to say the least) .. and somehow Airtel's policies changed towards me. I started getting offers / free subscription and what not ..

Offer 1 -> Dear Airtel Customer, We have a special Offer JUST FOR YOU. Make at least 5 calls everyday between 10AM to 5PM and win a chance to win a 29 inch color TV .. absolutely FREE
(yeah i get that dumbo .. WIN means FREE) Here you should know that Airtel had noticed that between 10 to 5 i was only receiving calls and had not made a single call between these timings for about 20 days ..

Offer 2 -> Dear Airtel Customer, NOW you can download your favorite ring tones for FREE. just dial #@%% and choose your ring tone (Note - standard call charges apply)
Screw you .. given the time it take me to get to the ring tone menu . it's almost the same bill as having a heavy meal at Balaji

Offer 3 -> (Got this today) Dear Airtel Customer, We have a special offer just for YOU. This offer is extended to only a few select customers and you are among the lucky ones. You can now get your Hello Tune from amongst the top three Hello Tunes FOR FREE. We will play the top three at the end of this message and you can select you favorite tone. (This got me interested .. coz this was Airtel calling and i could download for free .. meaning absolutely no charge at all). Song 1 -> Something in Telugu .. ( Me .. "what the hell" ) .. Song 2 -> This one seems familiar but still Telugu .. ( Me .. "sucks .. !!") .. Song 3 -> Aashiq banaya .. aashiq banaya (Me .. "Oh god .. please tell me this is a April Fool thing and they will play some nice song at the end of all this torture" )

But that is where it all ends .. Airtel did it once more time !!